Saturday, December 27, 2008

An Observation Concerning Honesty

It is my experience that honesty is considered to be one of the more admirable of virtues, yet in reality is one of the most reviled.

People have, on more than one occasion, said that honesty should be tempered with tact. In other words, if being honest means hurting someones feelings or pissing someone off then it should be avoided. Or if not avoided, approached delicately so as not to upset anyone.

I can't do it. When I say, "I love you," I love you. When I say, "I hate you," I hate you. When I say, "I don't understand," it means I don't have a fucking clue what's going on...explain or re-phrase. When I say, "That's stupid," it means I've thought about it and come to that conclusion, and will happily provide you with my reasons as to why and how I got there.

When I see a spade, I call it a fucking shovel.

I make no pretensions at being perfect, but I do try for it.

I am of the opinion, after many years of thinking about it, that the world suffers from an overabundance of tact, rather than a lack of it.

And before anyone accuses me of it, I am NOT advocating being rude. Opinions should only be given when they are asked for, or when they are necessary in your judgement to avoid serious error. However, when an opinion is asked for it should be given directly, not circumspectly.

A person, when recieving a negative opinion from someone else, is a fool to act as if they don't care. That person should be asking, simply, "Why?"

When I voice an opinion and a person scoffs, sneers, or ignores it, I categorize them as a fool. When they ask, "Why?", I categorize them as someone I should seek opinions of as well.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Robert's Picks

I'm reading:

By Schism Rent Usunder by David Weber (excellent)

Nigger: The Strange Career of a Troublesome Word by Randall Kennedy (interesting)

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (very good)

The Tales of Beedle the Bard by J.K. Rowling (good)

I'm watching:

Legend of the Seeker (completely disappointing)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Wow...just wow

I've had a pretty terrible day. A simple busted water pipe has turned into a nightmare that I really can't afford, but must. I got screamed at by a friend because I didn't scrape my dinner plate fast enough (in her defense she lives with people who say, "Yeah, that's mine. I'll take care of it," then ignore her). There's plenty more to both stories, but after taking a bath in a cooking pot I just want to get some sleep.

I've got to work tomorrow then I've got a four day weekend. Hopefully I can get in Lowe's tomorrow and get what I need to fix this damned pipe. I'm going to try and do it correctly since my two attempts to fix it back to the way it was have failed misreably.

At least I know that I'd much rather be an electrician than a plumber.

And Merry Christmas...I'm not Christian, but I don't celebrate it as a religious holiday anyway. I think of it as more of a birthday for everyone on the same day.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Robert's Picks

I'm reading:

The Hunters by W.E.B. Griffin (very good)

The Romantic Manifesto by Ayn Rand (enlightening)

Star Wars: Legacy of the Force (Revelation) by Karen Traviss (very good)

On dvd I watched:

The Dark Knight (excellent)

Friday, December 19, 2008

What To Do

I'm not sure what to do right now. I've been better.

There have been too many damned hurts lately. By lately, I mean in the last sixth months. I had to give up on some things that I never wanted to give up on. I've been treated with absolute contempt by a person who I gave the benefit of the doubt. And I was disappointed by a number of friends on this, the week of my birthday.

A part of me wishes I had it in me to give up, but for some damned reason I still believe that happiness, lasting happiness, is a goal I can attain.

I'll keep trying. One day I'll be able to look back and see more happy memories than painful ones.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Wisdom? You Decide.

"Tolerable injustice is still injustice."
-Robert F. McDonald
December 15, 2008

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Bye, Bye Halloween Pumpkins!

A friend and I shot some pumpkins left over from Halloween today.

Contemplating 24

This past month has seen me a lot on the down side. I find myself ready for a lot of new things. I feel like I am stagnating, making no forward progress, but I'm hoping that things are about to begin to break loose.

I've been having a lot of bad dreams lately. Sometimes I sleep the whole night through, but then others I am up multiple times. Some nights I get only an hour or two of sleep before the dreams chase me to consciousness and I'm stuck worrying about what I see in them.

I feel like I'm waiting for the next big bolt of pain. I don't know why. Everything that could happen, has happened. I haven't had to see it yet, but that doesn't mean I don't know it to be true. I was stuck in a ball of pain, and those long numbed to it moved on past me.

I don't numb to pain. I ignore it when I can. I realize it's only temporary and try to move forward, but there are times when it is bad. Thankfully, there are more times when it doesn't even cross my mind. It usually only gets me when I'm all alone in the dead of night, when I'm doing nothing. Then it strikes.

I guess that's a good reason to stay busy, which I do for the most part.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I'll be twenty-four years old. At eighteen I expected myself to be in law school at 24. Now I'm not even sure if I want to go to law school anymore. I don't feel the desire anymore. The thrill of it just isn't there, nor is the interest. I think I'd rather pursue philosophy. That is where my interests lie. That is where my passion lies. Early on I wanted to teach. Now I'm thinking that is what I may do.

In March I should have a hearing for a partial settlement of my grandfather's estate. Hopefully by the end of March the majority of my debt will be eliminated and I will be breathing easier. I keep saying that, and it keeps getting pushed further and further back. I'd hoped to have it done by the end of this year. But March seems to be firming up. Just three more months and I'll finally feel free of that particular burden.

Not that I didn't bring the burden on myself (I did), but I need to be rid of it.

I'll be glad when the chaos of my life settles down. I remember the last time I really felt at ease, with no worries. It was the Fall of 2006. It took me a long time to get to the Fall of 2006. Two years, a lot of pain, and loneliness before I learned to live my life again. I think it won't take quite that long this time. I know what my goal is now. I don't have to rediscover how to live again, I just have to start doing it again.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

And Now For Something Completely Different...

I'm an uncle for the first time as of yesterday. My sister Mary had a baby girl. I have not had the chance to see her yet, but hopefully I will soon.

It's weird. I always figured that I would be an uncle before I was a father, even though I am the oldest of all my siblings. Yet, I still feel like I'm a bit behind.

Oh, I'm in no rush, but I guess it's just one more thing that makes me come face to face with the fact that, over the last couple of years, I've come to realize that I really want children one day.

Yep, one day. I've got two minor miracles to get off before that day can come, but I'm pretty determined to pull it all together.