Sunday, March 18, 2007

If ever there was a night...

If ever I came close to taking another human life, tonight was the night.  I find it oddly comforting that I could circumvent the amount of rage I felt and channel it into something else besides violence.  It was interesting, at the very least. 

I was hit with the most painful thing I could have been hit with tonight, and I held my own.  I parried, and rather well.  And while I had to walk away, beat the punching bag in my trunk until my fist felt like they would split, and listen to loud music so I could scream in anger and pain, I survived something that I might not have if it had happened a few months earlier.

It's uncanny the pain a human being can take, whether emotional or physical, but it is staggering.  Literally, to those of us who have had the displeasure to experience it. 

I am stronger now than I have ever been.  She can hurt me.  Boy, can she hurt me.  But she can't make me doubt my ability to take it anymore.   And that, my friend, is true victory. 

Sunday, March 4, 2007

My Wonderful Day

I should be at school, or at least almost there by now. But that's not happening. Here's why.

I needed to pick up a few things so I decided to go by WalMart's Neighborhood Market because it's close to my apartment and they do cheap money orders (I need to pay the rent). So I grab what I need, nix the money order because the line is too long, skip the short line because it is CASH ONLY, and go to one of the self-checkout registers. No big deal, right?

Wrong. I scan my ice cream and slide it down to the bags. I scan my two liter...and apparently it was the wrong weight and the machine started screaming "try again, try again." So I tried again. And it scanned. I roll it, and TRY to scan the second two liter. It won't scan. Then the whole machine freezes up and says assistence is on the way. I wait. And wait. And wait.

Finally I took a page out of my grandfather's book and left the shit there and walked out. Fuck WalMart. Fuck them in the ass.

I decided then to make the five minute longer trip to Publix. The prices are a bit higher, but they have enough human cashiers that you can check out without standing in line for twenty minutes. I got everything I need except the ice cream (I didn't really need it anyway) and checked out. Four two liter drinks, a pound of hamburger meat, a box of hamburger helper, a gallon of milk, 12 packages of ramen noodles and all of it for under twenty bucks. I pay, the kid bagging the stuff puts the last bag into my shopping cart, and then the kid looks at me and says, "Need any help carrying that out, Sir?"

You've got to be fucking kidding me? This kid is half my size and he is asking me if I need help getting less than twenty dollars worth of groceries to my car by myself?

I looked at him, arched one of my eyebrow, and realize he is dead serious or has the best poker face I have ever seen. Then I smiled, said, "No thanks, I think I can handle it," and walked out.

All in all I'm thinking of sticking to doing all of my grocery shopping at Publix from now on. It was just a more pleasant and quick experience.

Just now though I'm thinking of having a few beers and calling out of work.