Sore Knuckles

We all have our own ways of working out our aggressions.  Some of use choose to give up our humanity and take it out on other human beings.  I like to think of myself as a civilized gentleman and a law abiding citizen.

One way I like to blow off steam is to do some target practice with my pistol and rifles.  It's fun, and it's a skill I appreciate developing.  But paper and plastic targets are just not real enough sometimes.  And guns are a little hands off...

So a long time ago I bought a punching bag.  I just recently rigged up a way to hang it.  Then when I went into a sporting goods store to buy some hand wraps I found a mounting bracket.  And no, I hadn't ever seen one before.  So I bought it, as it allows me to hang my bag a lot better.  And it's safer.

I also bought hand wraps, and a pair of gel padded gloves that take the place of hand wraps and can be worn under bag or boxing gloves.  I used those tonight to work out a little aggression.  It was fun.  And it felt good to be able to hit something.  On top of all that it's a good cardio workout. 

I think I am going to invest in some bag gloves too, though.  The second knuckles on the first two fingers of my right hand (my primary punching hand, and the one I hit hardest with) are scrapped raw from the repetitive punches.  It hurts, and I'll have to let them heal, so I need to get some bag gloves to prevent this from happening again.  Funny thing is, I never used to have this problem when I used plain old wraps, so I may just go back to them.

But maybe not.  Bag gloves are a good investment anyway.  A little extra protection is never a bad thing.  Now I think I'll go watch Freedomland.  I hope it's good.

Movie Night (Beware...spoilers)

I saw X-Men: The Last Stand tonight.  It was a really good movie that rounded out the trilogy well.  There were some unexpected things in the movie, which is always good.  There were also some things I didn't like.

I liked the way the movie was able to juggle a lot of competing moral issues and really manage to not leave you feeling like maybe the bad guy is right.  They basically show you how Magneto may appear to have a good point, but that he is just like those he claims to be fighting (that is, those who would commit genocide). 

I also liked the way the 'cure' to mutation was debated in the movie.  It reminded me, as I'm sure it was supposed to, of the abortion debate.  And it left me with the same feeling that choice is better than no choice. 

What I didn't like about this movie was the fact that they seem to have completely ignored the fact that the Phoenix (Jean Grey) was a GOOD GUY.  The only aspect of the Phoenix we see in this movie would be Dark Phoenix (the bad version when Jean goes insane).  I'm sure I'm not the only one who was pissed off by this...but I admit it does clean up loose ends that only ten more movies could have otherwise dealt with. 

I also didn't like the fact that they killed off first Cyclops (killed by the woman who loves him??? I understood the reasoning, but I didn't buy it), Professor X (also by Jean Gray...this also didn't make much sense as he was more of a father to her than her own father), and finally Jean Gray herself (this death and its circumstances made sense, but only if you're willing to buy the first two, which I will for the sake of the movie).

I liked the ending.  The school remains.  Wolverine remains my favorite character (as he always has been...we've got a lot in common).  And the very end shows a scene with Magneto (now a human after being given the 'cure') sitting alone in Golden Gate Park at a Chess table with metal chess pieces which makes me speculate that the cure may not be permanent.  He puts his hand out as if to guide a piece with his power and the screen abruptly goes blank and the credits role. 

I like the possibility this opening presents, but after killing off three of your most essential characters I don't see any further movies coming.  I think at this point it should be left alone. 

And that, is that.  It's not the comic book X-Men, but I can live with it.  At least they didn't totally fuck it up as they have with some comic book movies...remember The Hulk?

Rule Number Three

DON'T MEET INTERESTING NEW PEOPLE WHILE DRUNK

Of course, as I'm sure you're intelligent enough to assume, I already broke this one.  After all, rules were made to be broken.  Just the same, you must at times bite the bullet and admit to the depths of your own stupidity. 

Dun-da-duh!

You don't meet new people while drunk.  There are many reasons for this.  First, and foremost, you can't help but give them the impression that you're a drunk, even if it's been weeks since you had your last drink.  Second, you might spill a couple of drinks in your lap, even if in your entire life you've managed to never do that before.  Third, you might want to give a compliment, like "You have a beautiful smile," (she did) but you don't because the person in question is going to think, "He's drunk, and just wants to get in my pants."  Fourth,  you are going to make an ass of yourself, and say and do things that will only embarrass you if you meet this person again.  There are more, of course.

Basically, if you do this you shoot yourself in the foot (even the "differently challenged" people we know can do this...sorry John, I couldn't resist).  You could meet a person with a hobby that you have an interest in, photography for instance. But it doesn't matter.  You're too fucking drunk to use this obvious conversation piece.  If you find yourself attracted to someone, you can't really do anything about it because, again, they are just going to think you're drunk and trying to get in their pants.  And then, of course, if this person is nice enough to give you're drunk ass a ride to your car you might puke in theirs (I didn't!  But it was a concern of hers.  I wasn't anywhere near that far gone, but I'm sure I appeared that way.).  This would be very, very bad form.

So, in conclusion, I must say again:  DON'T MEET INTERESTING NEW PEOPLE WHILE DRUNK.  You'll only regret it in the morning, because a bad first impression is hard to break. 

Which brings us to our next topic, Rule Number Four: YOU CAN'T MEASURE A PERSON BASED ON THEIR MYSPACE PROFILE...IT'S NOT THE SUM TOTAL OF WHO THEY ARE PEOPLE.....

New Story

I've almost finished with my latest story.  It's in the fantasy genre, but it's not a typical happy-go-lucky tale.  It's actually very sad.  Since my writing seems to be at it's best when I'm talking about my own sadness, I thought I'd give this story a try.  A lot of it comes from my own recent history, but it ends a little differently.  I guess it's kind of the story of what might have happened in a different time, in a different world.  I'm hoping I'll finish my rough draft tonight, and then I'll polish it up and send it off. 

Then I'll try and come up with a new idea, and I'll start again.  And again.  And again.  I'm bound to get it right eventually.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Can you tell I bought a new CD?  I also got the new Red Hot Chili Peppers album, Stadium Arcadium.  It's good too.  I've also rented some movies tonight.  I can't even remember all the titles, so I won't bother relating what they are unless they turn out to be good. 

I feeling kind of bored tonight.  I'm doing my best to stave off this impending feeling of loneliness.  I can feel it there, and I just want it to go away.  It started right after I rented the movies and has gotten steadily worse.  It's funny, cause last night I was all alone but I felt great.  Tonight isn't the same.  Weird.  Oh, well.  That's life.

Every rose truly does have it's thorn.

The Book Was Better

But isn't it always?  Well, I can remember at least once when it wasn't, but let's not get off topic here.  I finally went and saw The DaVinci Code.  I liked it, though I think Tom Hanks was not the greatest choice for Robert Langdon.  I will concede, however, that at the moment I can't think of anyone better. 

The movie seemed to stick mostly to the book, though there were some differences.  I would have been more keen to them, but I have not recently read the book.  I thought about it, seeing as it's not very long, but I've been busy reading two or three others. 

So, did I like the movie?  Yes.  Could it have been better?  Most definitely.  But so could just about every other movie.  I think this one stayed more true to the book than most.  It even had the same rushed feel to it.  When you take into account that it all takes place in the span of one day you realize that its pace is a necessary element.

I'll probably pick this one up on dvd when it comes out, but it won't be one I'll watch a lot.  I'll pull it out when I'm in the mood and don't have the time to re-read the book.  I liked it, so it gets a thumbs up from me.   

Some things I wanted to mention, and something I really needed to talk about...

I've really been meaning to go see The DaVinci Code since Friday, but that has not happened so far.  And I've got to work tonight.  And I'll probably work Tuesday night so I can get some over time, but I don't know yet.  I'm feeling worn out, so maybe not.  I could use two days off.

I found out yesterday that my youngest brother, Ryan, is coming from California to visit June 1st.  That will be nice.  I have not seen him in about five years.  It sucks that he lives so far away.  Because of that, and other things, I've never really developed any kind of a relationship with him.  I only wish I had known he was coming sooner, because then I could have taken my vacation while he was here.  But it will be okay.  I'll make the time.

I had a really weird dream yesterday.  It was like one I'd had a long time ago that I wrote about here.  Anyway, in the dream someone I've known for a long time, though she was a bit different in the dream, and I realized we were in love with each other.  It was crazy, because the dream kind of skimmed over about a weeks time.  Anyway, we ended up very seriously together and planning marriage and all that.  It was crazy.  At the end of the dream she went to work and I got this weird feeling that she wasn't coming back and that this wonderful thing I'd finally found was going to end.  And then I woke up and it did.  That really sucked.  I was a little down about it all day yesterday. 

The weirdest part is remembering being madly in love with this person, in the dream anyway.  Waking up it's like someone I was close to years and years ago.  The memory is there, but the actual emotion is kind of gone.  Just lots of weirdness.  I guess the dream sort of bothered me.  I'd have rather not had it.  I finally had everything I wanted, and then I woke up.  That definitely doesn't make me feel that great. 

And I know.  A dream is just a dream and I shouldn't let it bother me.  This one really did though.  The funny thing is that the person in the dream is someone I don't particularly like.  Sure, she's attractive, but I could never see myself with her seriously.  Even if she weren't already taken.  It was weird how none of that mattered when the right feeling was there, though. 

I wish I hadn't dreamed this.  It's one of those which I wish I hadn't woken up from.  I was worried in the end of the dream because I could tell my body was waking up, even if I didn't understand or realize exactly why I was having that bad feeling in the dream.  The good parts of it were great though, and I wish that hadn't ended.  It was nice to feel that, to feel loved and wanted.  Even if it was just a dream. 

This really made my day....

Every once in a while you've got to shake things up and try something new, even if you're a bit skeptical, just to keep the momentum going.  So I decided to get a free personality profile from eHarmony.com.  I must say the personality profile was about dead on, what came with it was a disappointment:

"eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants to fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time."

 

I really like this song...

"The Enemy" by Godsmack

Hey Mister backstabbin' son of a bitch
you're livin' in a world that'll soon be dyin'
and I know everybody knows you try to be like me
but even at your best as a man you couldn't equal half of me.

I am realizing that everybody's lost their simple ways
and now that it's here I see it all so clearly
I've come face to face with the enemy, the enemy.

You, your another shit talkin' punk to me.
You're a living inspiration for what i never wanna be,
and I see you've been blinded by what you believe
And now back up and sit down, shut up and act like you need to be.

I am realizing that everybody's lost their simple ways
and now that it's here I see it all so clearly,
I've come face to face with the enemy, the enemy.

come to me, come to me
the enemy come to me, come to me

So predicting you're the reason why i lie
simple decision took me too much time to fly
Oh, checkmate!

I am realizing that everybody's lost their simple ways
and now that it's here I see it all so clearly,
I've come face to face with the enemy, the enemy

come to me

Wrist wrap

I finally rigged up a way to hang my punching bag outside my sliding glass doors on the small slab of concrete that is my backyard.  It's nice to finally have a place where I can hang it and use it.  But of course, there is a problem.  I've lost my wrist wrap.

See, the wrist wrap keeps your wrists braced for the punches so you don't hurt yourself.  But it also provides a little protection to your knuckles so you don't walk away bloody.  I took a few swings and already my knuckles on my right hand look a little beat up...cause they are.

I went to WalMart to buy wrist wrap, but of course they don't have any.  Any other time I've been in sporting goods the stuff has been everywhere.  Now all of a sudden it's no where to be found.  That's just plain annoying.  Well, at least I got something done today.

I also picked up my pay check today, which was nice.   I had overtime on it so it was bigger than usual.  The next one will be too.  I paid my rent and the few bills I had and now the money is almost all gone.  I also filled up my gas tank, so I won't have to worry about that for a while. 

I'm thinking that tomorrow I will go and see The DaVinci Code.  I've been looking forward to seeing the movie ever since I heard about it.  The whole controversy surrounding the movie is cracking me up.  I love would-be censors. 

In the meantime, I think I am going to go watch The Ringer so I can see Johnny Knoxville make a jackass out of himself.

Robert's Picks

I realized I have not done one of these in a while, and I've been meaning too.  So here goes.

Books:  Story of O by Pauline Reage (excellent)

        Mindhunter:  Inside the FBI's Elite

        Serial Crime Unit by John Douglas and

        Mark Olshaker (good)

        Sword and Citadel:  The Second Half

        of The Book of the New Sun by Gene

        Wolf (decent)

Movies:  Munich (excellent)

         Hostel (good)

Music:  Hello by Poe

        IV by Godsmack

I need sleep...

I'm feeling kind of depressed, which is a sure sign that I need to get some sleep.  I'm off tonight, but I'm thinking of going in for some overtime.  I will if I wake up naturally, sans alarm, in time. 

I just posted this long ass entry on Myspace about my failures in romance.  It's all post-Stephanie stuff.  Christ, that girl has become a place marker in the timeline of my life.  Guess love does that.

Anyway, a lot of it is stuff I've never even talked about here for various reasons, privacy being the biggest one, embarassment at constantly failing the next.  I guess I just needed to get it all out.  I don't know why I did it there as opposed to here.  I guess because in a way it's...I don't know.  I can't think.  I'm tired and sad and I want a hug and some cuddling.  How pathetic is that.  I really need to find someone to lean on.  "Lean on me..."  I always liked that song.  It's kind of comforting. 

Well, as Avril would say, I'm for bed.

Add to that last nearly killing myself....

As if things don't suck enough, I damn near killed myself at work about forty-five minutes ago.  I was getting a pallet off of the top of our bins using a piece of heavy equipment called a 'Walkie Stacker,' which we more commonly refer to as a 'Walker Stacker.'  The second sounds better, don't you think? 

Anyway, I hit the reverse toggle by accident and pinned myself between the bin behind me and this ton and a half contraption that looks a lot like a forklift.  If you're curious, I'm sure you can find a picture of one online somewhere.  I'm a little too tired to go hunting for one or I would provide it.

Needless to say, it was quite painful and could have been deadly.  I managed to un pin myself quickly without suffering (to my knowledge) any permanent damage.  My left ass cheek would disagree, as it is quite tender at the moment.  Anyway, after I freed myself I stepped back and my vision started going.  I completely blacked out for a split second, nearly slamming into the ground before catching myself in mid fall and jumping back up. 

The two guys near me called our manager and I took a seat.  My vision and hearing were kind of fuzzy for about five minutes, but by the time my manager got there I was feeling better.  We filed an incident report just in case I decide I need to see a doctor later, but I don't think that will be necessary. 

In all honesty, this was my own fault.  I should have been more careful of how I positioned my body.  But I was in a hurry and wanted to go home, so I wasn't.  Next time I will be more careful. 

Now, I think I am going to go take a hot shower, or maybe a nice bath. 

Oh, yeah, I've got a new idea for a story and I'm going to jot down some notes on it before I crash.  Maybe I can get it written before I go to work tonight while the idea is still fresh.

Craziness

So, I get a call from John last week and he tells me that Jennifer is pregnant.  I know he wanted me to be all happy about it for him, but I'm a realist.  He doesn't know what the fuck is about to hit him.  They're both too stubborn to realize what having a child means.  But it's okay.  They can handle it.  I'm not worried about that.  They'll make great parents, I think.

Then, the day after that, a girl I know from way back when runs into me in WalMart.  She introduces me to her new boyfriend and drops the bomb that she, too, is pregnant.  I don't what to think about that.  But she's a good person from all I know, so there you go.

Who am I kidding?  I think anyone that has a kid before they hit thirty is out of their fucking mind.  Oh, it can be done, and quite well.  But I couldn't do it.  I can barely take care of myself. 

Sure, it sounds nice.  But if you really do some deep thinking about it, it's terrifying.  I think John and Jennifer kind of rushed into it, for various reasons.  But whatever.  The other girl?  I don't think she saw it coming, but she is going with the flow.  I seem to remember her saying a couple of months ago that she was not ready for a kid. 

Oh, I've been working as much overtime at work as I can handle.  I could use the money, and I've really got nothing better to do.  I made a "C" in the one class I was taking.  I plan on hitting the ground running in the fall by taking five classes. 

In other news, my romantic life seems to be at an absolute stand-still.  For every step I take forward I seem to take ten back.  I just don't know what to do anymore.  I think I've finally given up. 

The Meaning of Life Is...

How the Hell should I know?  Don't let my Greek god-like appearance fool you.  I don't have the answers, much as I'd like too.

My weekend hasn't been long enough for my taste.  I wish I had a few more days off, but oh well.  Back to work tomorrow.  Anyway, today was kind of nice.  I went to the theater and saw The Sentinel.  It was really good.  I liked it a lot, although I feel it could have been longer without losing it's fast pace.  The story would have been helped by a little fleshing out.

Other than that I didn't do much, except burn a couple of rib eye steaks.  I will never try cooking something by someone else's method again, especially when my way works.  "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."  I ended up having Hamburger Helper for dinner instead of a nice, juicy steak. 

I also rented a couple of movies.  I can't remember the titles.  They're mostly low budget action movies.  I need a cheap thrill once in a while. 

I'm bored, as usual.  I was hoping to talk to someone tonight, but of my two friends currently online one has her away message up and the other is far too depressing at the moment.  It's funny how I can so easily make female friends but can't get a girlfriend.  See, that's the fate of nice guys.

I'm feeling so tired, I might just go to bed early.  That might be nice.  I've had a long day.