Thursday, March 30, 2006

Couch Bum

I admit it.  I really like that song.  And I love the video.  I'm a guy and I would kill for her body! 

Anyway, I don't know what this entry is about, but I was sitting on my couch and remembered I was still online.  I'd been downloading some stuff and since I have dial-up it takes forever.  I see that my friend is also online but has her away message up.  She's HOT!  I just thought I'd throw that out there.  Cause it's true. 

The Bodyguard is on tv right now.  It's a good movie, and I haven't seen it in a long time.  I've actually been thinking of buying it lately, but I didn't.  Maybe I will. 

I did a little shopping today.  I bought some t-shirts, CDs, and a couple of DVDs.  I got Eminem's new CD, and a couple of older ones.  I'm tired.  And I guess I should be.  It's after midnight.  I didn't realize it was that late.  No wonder I'm hungry again.  I cooked some steaks tonight, but they were not that good.  I think it was the marinade.  I have yet to find one that is worth a damn.  Or maybe I need to get a grill and stop broiling my steaks.  It could be that.  I don't know.

I sent those two stories off first thing this morning.  Well, I worked out a little bit and then sent them off.  I hadn't lifted weights in a while and felt like I needed to get back into it.  I'll do it for a month, and then quit for a month.  I need to stick with it.  But that's me.  I do so much that I run out of time/energy.  Or I just get into those funks where I can't do anything buy lay on the couch. 

I do that a lot.  Laying on my couch, I mean.  It's a nice couch though, and I figure I should get all the use out of it I can.  But I've been neglecting my bed.  Well, I didn't neglect my bed last night.  I finally got around to putting on my new sheets.  They are so soft, it's like heaven.  Too bad I'm the only one who is enjoying them. 

Oh, well.  I think I'm going to go eat something.  I just don't know what yet.  I need to clean up my kitchen too, but that can wait until tomorrow.  I hope I get plenty of sleep.  I'm already dreading going back to work.  Lovely.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Random Perverted Cleverness

These things just come to me sometimes.  I can't help myself.  I just have to say them.  But there's no one around to share this with, so here you go ladies:

I've got the hot meat filling for your soft taco.

 

 

Yeah, I know.  I need to grow up.  But isn't being up the problem?

See?  I just can't help it.  It's a disease.  Help me.....

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

We're off to see the editor...

Well, I finally got around to preparing a couple of my stories to submit for publication.  I've been dragging ass about it, but I'm doing it.  They are two I've submitted before.  One I never got a response about, and the other has been rejected twice. 

Anyway, they are as ready as I can make them.  All I've got to do now is take them to the Post Office and send them off.  I'll do that tomorrow when I don't feel like I am about to pass out.  I really need to get some sleep.  I was planning on doing some other things, but that ain't happening.  I'm just too damned tired.  There is always tomorrow.

 

Robert's Picks

Books:  The Teeth of the Tiger by Tom Clancy(Good)

        SM101 by Jay Wiseman (Interesting)

DVD Pick of the Week:  A History of Violence (Excellent!!!)

Music:  The Devil's Rejects Motion Picture Soundtrack (good)

        AC/DC Live (The Best)

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Weird...but good

I had a really weird, but good, dream today.  It was kind of odd.  I was at this party and this girl I've known forever was there.  I've known her since high school, anyway.  She's actually John's cousin.  Anyway, for some random reason we just started making out. 

It was weird because this is the not the type of dream I typically have, although there have been a lot more of them like this lately.  It's also weird because I have not seen her in months.  But I guess that is not really weird, considering that I tend to dream about people when I have not seen them in a while. 

I think it's a good dream for the obvious reasons.  I just wish I hadn't woke up.  I was having fun...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Pictures of me...

I thought I'd add some pictures of me now.  Believe it or not, I actually thought I was smiling when I took a couple of these.  That should get a laugh out of you.

Oh, and two or maybe three random questions:

How do I put up a picture in the about me section of my journal?

How do I get the cool background graphics for MySpace?  (BTW, Ave, your link isn't working again...thought I'd let you know...I know, I'm being annoying tonight, this morning...whatever)

And finally, why is it that the only women who give me compliments...really, really good compliments...are the ones already in a relationship with someone else?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Pictures from school...

I won't give commentary, but I took these from the fourth floor of the humanities building at UAB.  The plane is the coolest.  I suggest checking them out by clicking "view larger."

 

Sunday, March 19, 2006

I boughts a few things...

I guess I could have lived without spending any money, but since I planned on blowing it all at the casino anyway I decided I'd spend it on a few thing yesterday.  I actually bought quite a few things without spending too much.  Although, I must admit that there is one thing that I've wanted for a while...and it's expensive...and I bought it.  I finally got a nice digital camera.  It's a Sony Cyber-shot.  It takes much better pictures than my cheap-o.  Now I can finally start posting more pictures hear and there.

I also bought a couple of shirts.  Nothing special, just this baby blue polo and another shirt that kind of defies description (at least the words escape me for the moment), but I'll post some pictures later.  I also bought some hair clippers and cut my own hair for the first time.  Since I like it so short it's not exactly hard to do.  I might take some pictures of that too.  Yeah, hopefully I'll be taking a lot of pictures of a lot of things...and people?  Maybe. 

I've got to go back to work tonight, and that really sucks.  But I only have to work for two days before I'm off again.  That's going to be nice.  I'm going to just ease back into it.  I've got to work on my take home exam for Philosophy of Law tomorrow morning.  I have to get it turned in before class.  I'm not sure if I'll actually go to class.  I might, I might not.  The good thing about this particular class is that you can get by without ever showing up.  I like that.  It's relieves a lot of stress.

Yesterday I also bought a lot of dvds and a couple of cds.  Most of them were older stuff.  Of dvds, I bought Serpico (which is great), AC/DC Live at Donington (also great), Eros, and Requiem for a Dream.  The cds I bought were a "best of" of the comedian Rodney Carrington, who is coming to Birmingham next month (I really want to go to that show), and the sound track to The Devil's Rejects.

I'm kind of bored right now.  Okay, I'm really bored.  And I don't know what to do.  If it wasn't raining I'd go outside and play with my camera.  I guess since it is raining I could clean up my apartment and play with it inside. 

I need to find a new job that allows me to work during the day.  Or at least on better nights.  I'm sick of WalMart.  Too much drama.  But I need to do a lot of things.  There is far to much to do.   

Friday, March 17, 2006

Ups and Downs

The last three days has been a series of ups and downs.  The ups have been good and the downs have been bad, just as they should be.  I'm in one of the downs right now.  I wish I wasn't.  But you can wish in one hand....

Anyway, my little road trip was enjoyable.  It was nice to be away.  I wish there had been more to do.  It sure wasn't Vegas.  But it was good enough just the same.  My first day there I lost a hundred dollars playing poker.  I was tired and playing stupid.  I could have walked away with double my money if I'd just played smart, but I didn't. 

The next day was better.  I bought in for another hundred dollars worth of chips and sat down at the poker table with the intention of at least winning my money back.  And I did just that.  See, I really am a good poker player when I want to be.  It's only when I get bored that I play stupid.  So I got my hundred back, and thirty-four dollars on top of it.  I had a little more than that, but I played a few hands and the blinds ate it up.  When I started feeling tired and bored again I quit.

I went to bed pretty early, around eight o'clock last night, and was awake about four AM.  I got breakfast around seven and then checked out around eight.  The drive home took about three hours.  It's not as long as the drive from LA to Vegas, though, so it wasn't so bad.  I almost enjoyed it.

I had hoped I would have some fun tonight too.  I went to the St. Patrick's Day Poker walk that the bars down town sponsor.  It sucked, and I ended up leaving after about thirty minutes and one beer without ever getting my hand on a single card (the idea is to go to all five bars, get one card, and then try and make the best hand for a prize).  I couldn't even find where they were handing out the cards.  And besides that I was alone.  I seemed to be the only person their who didn't know at least one other person.  I should have found someone to go with me, but I don't really have anyone I could have asked.

I guess I'm just feeling depressed right now.  I've finally got a Friday night off and I'm sitting at home.  I tried though.  I wish I could have stayed in Mississippi for another night, or two, but I couldn't get a room.  It's too bad.  I might have made a couple hundred bucks if I had.  It would have at least paid for my longer stay. 

Not much is going the way I want it too.  I'm really trying to not whine and be some petulant child, but life hasn't been very enjoyable to me for a while.  Even when I do something that makes me happy the fact that I can't share that with someone kind of puts a damper on it. 

Sometimes I need to be alone.  But there are times when we shouldn't have to be alone. 

Oh, well.  Such is life.

Monday, March 13, 2006

A qoute and a fortune...

Paraphrashed from Tom Clancy's The Bear and The Dragon:  "You usually know where your enemies stand, because you face them.  Where you friends stand is more difficult, because they are usually behind you."

From my fortune cookie:  "Keep a green tree in your heart, and one day the singing bird will come."

Plans Change and Robert's Picks

So, I was supposed to go to Mississippi to Gulf Wars with my SCA buddy Rob.  I asked for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday off from work.  I got them.  My regular off days are Tuesday and Wednesday.  I've still got those too.  But guess what?  Can't go to Gulf Wars!  Fuck!  Shit!  Five days off and nothing to do...

But it's okay.  Rob plays softball (isn't that a girls sport, anyway?  Oh, now I see why he plays...) and his first game is Thursday.  So I said fuck it, booked a suite for Wednesday and Thursday night at the SilverStar Resort and Casino in Mississippi.  Road trip baby!  I'm going to play some Poker, maybe a little Blackjack, eat some good food, and maybe consort with some loose women.  And I'll be back Friday for St. Patrick's Day.  I'll probably hit the bars downtown.  If they are doing the Poker Walk I'll do that too.  I don't know what I'm going to do Saturday night, but I'll figure something out.

I'm really looking forward to this.  It's going to be nice to get away from work for so long.  I've really been needing a break and to get away for a while.  This is the perfect opportunity.  I was going to stay at the SilverStar for three days, but the room I wanted was booked for Friday night.  That's cool though.  I'll spend less money if I come home.  Maybe.  Bars can get expensive.  I'll be careful though.

Robert's Picks

Books:  The same (still good)

Movies:  House of A 1000 Corpses (good) and The Devil's Rejects (better)

Music:  The Rolling Stones Forty Licks (excellent)

        The Ramones Loud, Fast (excellent)

 

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

On My Mind

I've been busy as hell lately.  Okay, so that a lie.  I've been sleeping a lot and sitting on my ass doing nothing.  I confess.  I don't know what else to do.  I want to do something, but every time I do I feel that it's just not enough.  Not quite what I need.  So I'm left wondering what it is I need or want.

I got my income tax check last week.  And my grandfather decided that instead of paying him some money I owe him I could just give him a computer I am trying to sell instead.  So I spent most of that money.  About three hundred went into a PS2 and a couple of games.  I was in dire need of something to do besides sitting around or sleeping.  Close to another three went into groceries and O'Charley's.  You don't know how much you'll miss some things until you have to do without them.  The food has probably been the best part of the extra money.  Funny, that.

The rest I just used for this and that as it came up.  Maybe I should have done something else with it.  I don't know.  I'm getting things under control, which is nice. 

I've got to take that computer to my grandfather tomorrow and while I'm there I'll see if I can convince him to help me take care of some other things.  It would be nice if he could...help.  That's all I want.  I need wiggle room and he can provide it. 

The urge to just sell everything, or almost everything, and just move somewhere and start over is growing within me.  I've read that there is in men a desire to wander, to never be tied down.  Well, it's in me.  I guess it's because I feel like those few things that were holding me to this place are gone.  My roots have been cut.  I get the feeling they won't be growing back. 

Life is odd for me right now.  It's so different from what it was even a year ago.  I knew where I was going then.  At least I thought I did.  Now I don't have a clue.  I don't even know what I want to do anymore.  There are things that pull at me, but not enough for me to do anything about it.  So I just keep trudging along. 

You know, I used to have a lot of hope for the future.  I was sure that things would always be moving forward to bigger and better things.  For a while they did, but now I feel like I'm stuck in some lonely in-between with no idea what to do. 

I feel like I'm at a crossroads with no sign and no idea what lies down either path.  I have to keep going, but I have no idea which way to go.  It's not really a choice at all.  The path I walk will be one I tread with no knowledge of where it leads or why I chose it.

That's terrifying in a real way.  It's also a bit exciting.  I am the pioneer of my own life.  The author of my own biography. Hell, maybe I'll try making my own trail.  It would be nice to walk a bit off the beaten path, so to speak. 

Robert's Picks

So it's been a shitty year.  A shitty couple of months...try seven or eight.  But thats okay.  I'm still here.  And I'm not going anywhere any time soon.  Besides, it's the little things that matter. 

Books:  The Book of the New Sun:  The Shadow of the Torturer by Gene Wolfe (okay, I guess...weird though)

Music:  S&M by Metallica (excellent)

TV:  The District (good)

DVD of the week:  Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Special Edition (very good)

 

Thursday, March 2, 2006

Endings

I find endings to be very depressing.  Unless they are happy endings.  And sometimes those are depressing too.  Some stories you just don't want to end.  Others you want to end differently.  But everything ends, for better or worse. 

Months and months go by and I still feel the same in one sense or another.  I still feel beat down and keep wondering why I keep on going.  In all honesty, I just don't know.  I don't really know what else to do.  I keep trying to do new things and explore new horizons but I keep finding myself with the same old, same old.  I keep hoping I'm going to top the next rise and see something different, but it's all the same.  All nothingness.

I don't know what I'm looking for.  Someone?  Something?  I don't know.  I just know that there is something missing.  I feel like there is more to life and I'm missing it.  Maybe I just can't open my eyes or something.  Maybe I'm not ready for whatever it is.  But are we ever ready for anything?  I don't think so. 

I'm on a mission.  It's the same mission I've been on for as long as I can remember.  And I know that I'll be on it for as long as it takes.  I don't really have any choice.  It's never been in me to give up.  

My mission is to find whatever it is I'm looking for.  I don't know what it is, but I know I still haven't found it. 

Not yet.