I am really angry. I'm always angry. Or if not angry, then sad. Those are the only two emotions I feel with any regularity. There are blips of other things hear and there, but not often and not consistently. I'd rather be angry than sad, I'll tell you that much, but it still isn't all that great. I'm easily frustrated and always tired because my adrenaline is always up.
The only good thing about it is that I'm constantly moving around and doing something. I can hardly sit still anymore. Even if I'm tired I feel like I need to be moving. Typing is about the only thing that will keep me sitting still, and even then I'm usually tapping my foot. This has led to me getting plenty of exercise and getting into a little better shape.
I feel so tore up inside. I'm sick of all this. I really am. There has got to be something I can do to stop feeling this way. I'm sick of being sad about Stephanie. I'm sick of being mad about it. I'm tired of wanting something I can't have. And I'm tired of being afraid that it will always be this way.
It's been months. You'd think I would be feeling better by now. But it's just more of the same everyday. I don't know what to do.