Tuesday, May 31, 2005

My Weekend Is Here Again

Finally, my weekend is here again.  I have two days off.  It's going to be nice, especially after last week.  Friday and Saturday night were absolutely horrible, I had to bust my ass all Friday because the stuff just would not stop coming.  I had juice and crackers coming out my ears.  I made it through the night okay though.  Saturday night was just as bad, even with help.  I was beat, but we got even more frieght in than we had Friday night. 

Sunday and Monday night were both lighter, but they still sucked.  My feet hurt, and I just want to relax.  I'm not going to sleep the day away though.  I have some things to do.  I have to call my attorney, and I'm also going to call about this house that is for rent.  It is three bedrooms and two bathrooms.  If I could get it for what I'm paying now, or cheaper, that would be great.  I'd also be able to get a roommate.  One of the guys I work with already said he'd be willing to go in for half because he wants to move out of his apartment too. 

I'd love to be able to get into a house.  Rerouting all my mail will be a bitch, but still, it will be worth it if I can save some money.  And I really need too.  I've got a lot to do this summer.  I really need to pay a visit to the finacial aid office at UAB.  I need money for school bad.  I can only afford one more semester.  I can't quite, no matter what.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Back To Work Again

Last night I had to go back to work after my weekend.  It could have been a better night.  I was working alone again, but it was okay.  I stayed busy all night, so I didn't have to worry about killing time so I could get my full forty hours.  I hate having to do that.  It sucks royal ass to have to walk around trying to look busy.

I also got my 90 day evaluation last night.  It was good.  I got a forty cent per hour raise, which will be nice.  It isn't that much, but every little bit helps.  My manager also told me I was doing excellant work and that if I stay at the same level I've get an get an even better evaluation and a fifty cent raise in January.  I plan on keeping my work to my usual standard, which is a good one and I'll hold him to what he said if he is still the one I'm working for.

Either way, if I don't get that raise I'll be looking for other employment.  I've got a few options here and there to work with when the time comes.  For now I'm just biding my time until something better comes along. 

On another note, I found a new and interesting journal.  I've been reading all of the new entries and I also started reading the old ones from the beginning.  It's a lot to do, but it is really worth the time.  Check out Livin' la vida Mommy

Thursday, May 26, 2005

First Kiss

I was just reading through some of AOL's other journals trying to find something interesting.  Just skimming a bit here and there.  I came accross this one journal where a woman had described her first kiss.  It was very cute.  That's the only word I can think of to describe it, but it reminded me of my first kiss.

It wasn't really the first time I kissed a girl.  It was the first time I kissed a girl and it mattered.  And I guess I should be honest and say that it was she who kissed me.  It's one of the most cherished memories I have, but it's also bittersweet.  I only had three days with her, and then I lost her forever.  Now she's married and has three kids.

Anyway, we had been childhood friends.  We hadn't seen each other in nearly ten years, but when we did meet up again we quickly picked up our friendship.  I was 13 and she was 14.  We were just kids, but I was crushing on her hard.  I still feel it.  Even after all these years, those feelings are still there.

We had been wrestling around on her bed like a couple of five year olds.  It was all innocent fun.  We were laughing and carrying on.  And then all of the sudden she was on top of me, holding me down.  She just stopped and looked into my eyes.  We just kind of froze up looking at each other like that.  And then she slowly bent down and pressed her lips against mine. 

I remember feeling her lips, so soft, gently parting mine.  He tongue came into my mouth and mine met her's there, softly caressing.  It felt wonderful.  I wanted it to last forever.  It didn't, but then I guess in a way it did.

We kissed every chance we could after that for three days.  We had to sneak around all the adults in the house.  They were keeping a close eye on the two us, making sure we weren't up to any funny business I guess.  Little did they know.

I'd give anything to live those days over again, either exactly as they happened or with a few changes.  I was so shy then, so scared.  I still am, to an extent.  I miss her.  I wish it could have been.  I kind of think I lost the one true love I ever had right there.  I was so young, so long ago. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Wednesday Night Adventure

Stephanie finally met John and Jennifer tonight.  I've been trying to introduce them for six months.  She got to meet Jeremy, which I was not exactly planning for jealous reasons.  I really need to get over that, but if he were to hook up with her I'd probably beat him to death and be too hurt to look at her.  Not that it would be any of my business, but it's a respect thing. 

Anyway, now that I've voiced my little insecurity, I guess I can get on to telling what we did.  Stephanie got here right after John, Jennifer, and Jeremy.  I introduced everyone and we sat around talking and watching Wheel of Fortune.  John and Jennifer had just come from his parent's house.  They had dinner there.  I ordered a pizza for me and Stephanie.

After we ate, we went to WalMart of all places.  Stephanie had to return a cat tree that her dad bought.  All five of us packed into my Civic, which wasn't so bad, except I didn't get to ride in the backseat with Stephanie and Jennifer.  Jeremy did.  I didn't like that.  Sorry, but I felt jealous.  I really like her as more than just a friend.  A lot more.  I can't help it, as much as I want too.  I don't like feeling jealous.

Anyway, after WalMart we went to Dairy Queen to get some Blizzards.  They were really good.  Only John, Stephanie, and I got one because Jennifer already had one today and Jeremy is weird.  We all got brownie batter, which is really good.  I didn't eat much of mine, but I enjoyed it.  I just didn't have much of an appetite after the pizza.

Having nothing else to do we decided to go to this 'novelty' shop called Love Stuff.  Stephanie had never been there before and Jennifer suggested we take her.  Since it was on the way, Stephanie asked to stop by her house so she could change into some pants and grab a jacket since the night was kind of cool.  Luckily, she is not like most women and didn't take long at all.

After getting our ID's checked after walking in the door, we browsed Love Stuff for about half an hour.  The place is pretty cool.  Lots of toys and clothes.  It's the place where strippers get all of thier outfits, but some of the stuff is pretty tasteful too.  Stephanie tried on this really nice pair of high heels.  They looked great on her, but she couldn't find her size.

Stephanie was also lookingfor something else she wanted.  She said she wanted to get this little finger vibrator she saw on tv or something.  It's cool she's comfortable wtih that kind of thing.  Another reason I like her, I guess.  She's not shy about sex.  I've always been turned off by people who have an immature attitude about sex.  I'm not saying that I'm bothered by people who are waiting, I just don't like people who don't have a mature attitude about it.

We came back to my apartment after that, since we had nothing else to do.  Stephanie left right after we got here because she has to work tomorrow.  It was fun though, except for my insecurity about Jeremy.  Why do I have to feel like an ass?  Because I'm a jealous bastard, and I'd like to have my shot at Stephanie and I don't want anymore interference than I already have.  Like I've got a chance anyway...

Maybe.  Fuck, I don't know.  She's got me all out of sorts.  I've got myself all out of sorts.  I've got that jealous, fearful, sick to my stomache feeling right now.  I guess I was nervous about Stephanie meeting John and Jennifer, and I didn't really think about her meeting Jeremy.  I wasn't expecting it, so maybe that's why it's got me a little weirded out.

It's cool though.  Jeremy's a good guy.  He knows the rules in these situations.  And I'll let him know that I really like her.  He wouldn't do anything uncool, same as I wouldn't if the situation was reversed.  That makes me feel a little better.  It's good to have friends you can trust to be cool.  I just hope I didn't step on his toes with Amanda and Tiffany.  But he said they were all just friends, and I didn't try anything anyway.  Just acted my perverted self.

Insecurity.  That's something I really need to work on.  It causes me a fuck-load of problems that I'd rather not have to deal with.  When it comes to sex, I'm secure.  Education, I'm secure.  Work, I'm secure.  Friendships, I'm secure.  But romantic relationships?  Very insecure in that department.  Need to work on that one.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Swimming is always better with hot girls

I have two days off, so I'm very happy about that.  It's going to be nice to be away from the WalMart drama for a couple of days.  Hopefully I'll be enjoying all of my free time.  I have so far.

Yesterday Jennifer and Jeremy came to the pool.  Jeremy also invited two of his friends from school over, Tiffany and Amanda.  They're sisters.  Amanda is about to graduate with Jeremy and Tiffany is sixteen.  Amanda has blonde hair and Tiffany is a brunette.  They both have these absolutely beautiful light blue eyes.  I think Tiffany is the best looking, but I guess that's because I like dark hair.

We had fun.  Jennifer laid out for the most part, but the rest of us swam a lot.  I think Tiffany is a bit of tease, but that's okay because she is too young to really worry about anyway.  Besides, she's  a virgin and waiting for marriage.  I'm not, and I'm not.  No way.  Amanda seems to lean in the same direction as me, but I'm not really that interested in her.  Not for anything long term anyway.

After I got a few hours of sleep today Jeremy called me and asked if I wanted to go swimming with them again.  I, of course, said yes.  Jeremy came over and we went out to the pool.  We swam for about forty-five minutes before they got there because Amanda went to the tanning bed before coming to the pool, which is a little redundant if you ask me. 

We had fun again.  Amanda and Tiffany stayed a lot longer than they did yesterday.  We had a couple of chicken fights, which are always fun.  John came to swim too.  Jennifer didn't want to because she got a little burned.  Too bad for her.  She missed out on a good time. 

Now I'm just sitting here listening to music wondering what to do.  I'm probably going to try and get a few hours of sleep and then I'll be up the rest of the night.  I think I need to go get a couple of things first though, so I might do that. 

I talked to Stephanie the other day, and she is supposed to come over Wednesday to hang out with me, John, and Jennifer.  I've probably already mentioned that, but I can't remember.  Hopefully she won't cancel at the last minute.  I don't know what we're going to do, but I'd still like her to meet John and Jennifer. 

 And of course I'd like to see her.  It's been a few weeks, and I'd be a liar if I said I didn't miss her.  I don't really know how much I miss her.  Sometimes I don't think of her for a few days, and then when I do I can't get her out of my head.  That girl's got a hold on me and doesn't even know it.

WalMart Sucks

WalMart sucks a big asshole.  I know, I work there.  Wake-Up Wal-Mart: Always High Costs

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Tired and Clean

Now I'm tired and clean.  At least I'm clean.  I did everything I meant to do today, and then some.  Except for one thing.  I didn't get my hair cut.  I'm a little annoyed about that, but it's okay.

Jennifer called me and woke me up at three-thirty.  She wanted to know if she could come swimming.  I was going to get up at four anyway, so I said sure.  She came over with John (of course!), and Jeremy came with them.  We went and took a dip.  The water felt good, but the day was a little cooler than I would have prefered.  Jennifer mainly wanted to lay out anyway.  She bought a new bathing suit.  The top is strapless to reduce tan lines.  Funny thing is, those kind come off easier in the water.  She was careful though.

After we finished swimming, we went out to eat.  We ended up going to Chili's.  I'd never eaten there before.  I heard it was good, and it was.  I got a NY Strip steak.  It was good, could have been a little better, but it was good.  I enjoyed it.  I had fries and mashed potatoes with it.  Both of those were good today.  I'm glad I'm not on a diet!

I think I'll probably take a little nap before going into work tonight.  Swimming is tiring.  And I always feel like a nap after a good meal.  Tonight should be better than last night at work anyway.  I hope.

I have to take my Dell with me.  One of the guys I work with has been giving me stuff for law school.  Most of it is Bar review stuff, but it'll come in handy.  He's got this program that he wants to give.  He said he'd bring the disk and I could save it on my hard drive.  Hopefully it will work fine.  It'll given me some incentive to use it if I have it there in front of me all the time.

Okay, I think it's nap time now.

Tired and Dirty

I'm tired and dirty, but I don't quite feel like showering and going to sleep just yet.  I felt like writing a new entry.  I just finished checking out the newest sets as Suicidegirls.com.  I love that website.  Absolutely amazingly beautiful girls...all nekkid. 

I really need to do somed laundry today, and wash my dishes.  I'll probably do some of that before I go to sleep, much as I don't want to.  I think John and Jennifer will be coming over this afternoon. 

Jennifer came into WalMart this morning to buy something to eat before going to work.  She stopped by Aisle 7 to talk to me for a minute.  I asked her if she could give me a hair cut this afternoon.  She said she would.  She gave John one yesterday.

Work sucked both Friday night and last night, as it usually does.  But it could have been worse.  Hopefully it won't be too bad tonight.  It shouldn't be.  We're not supposed to get too much frieght in.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed. 

Well, I guess I better go get some things accomplished before I pass out from exhaustion. 

Friday, May 20, 2005

100 Things About Me

Apperantly this is an old online journal thing to do, the list of a 100 things about yourself.  I can't say I've ever seen it before.  I kind of like the idea though, so here it is:

1.My name is Robert 2. It means "bright fame" 3.  I don't know what "bright fame" means 4. I'm brutally honest 5. I love everything Star Wars 6. Except the fans 7. I'm a Trekkie 8. I worship women 9. I'm a radical feminist 10. I can't help but feel protective over women 11. I guess that makes me a sexist too 12. I can be very contradictory 13. Reading is one of my true passions 14. Writing is another 15. I've had third degree burns 16.  I was once in the Boy Scouts 17. I was too busy screaming in pain to remember 'stop, drop, and roll' 18. I have many scars but am not 'covered' in scars 19. I don't mind scars 20.  I have no tattoos 21. Girls with tattoos are hot 22. So are girls with myriad piercings 23. I don't have of those either 24. I work at WalMart 25. I hate WalMart 26. I once had sex with Japanese 'massage therapists' 27. I did not pay for it 28. My cousin did 29. Prostitution does not bother me as longer as the whores unionize 30. Redheards are the best 31. I'm not a redhead 32. I'm a blonde 33. I'm currently infatuated with a busty blonde beauty 34.  She doesn't look like the typical busty blonde beauty 35. That's why I'm infatuated 36. I hate dating 37. I really, really want to though 38. I'm socially retarded 39. I live alone 40. My two best friends are a married couple 41. They are not an "old" married couple 42. I feel like a third wheel sometimes 43. They never try to hook me up with anyone 44. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing 45. My last attempt at dating ended before the first date with "let's just be friends" 46. We didn't remain friends very long 47. I have an extensive dvd collections 48. I've watched anime porn 49. I loved it 50. When it comes to sex, nothing between two consenting people bothers me 51.  I mean nothing 53. I don't think that is abnormal 54. I don't think it's normal 55. I don't want to be normal 56. I don't think there is such a thing as normal 57. "Normal" people are unathentic 58. I find most women attractive in some way 59. That doesn't make dating any easier 60. I love pizza 61. I drive a Honda Civic EX SE 62. Yeah? Well, it impresses me! 63. I've never used a car to pick up girls 65. I have used a dog 66. And my little sisters 67. I can't dance 68. I have tried 69. I admit it was fun 70. I also admit I was three sheets to the wind at the time 71. Being drunk can be fun 72. It can also be depressing 73. I've had my heart broken 74. To my knowledge I've never broken a heart 75. I'm jealous of that 76. I am twenty years old 77. I've only had one real job 78. I worry to much 79. Sometimes I worry that I don't worry enough 80. The most beautiful sights I have ever seen are all naked women 81. I find women who don't wear make-up more attractive than those who do 82. Angelina Jolie is my goddess 83. I prefer average girls 84. I think people with flaws are more unique 85. I don't believe in perfection 86. I want to be perfect 87. I always want what I can't have 88. I wonder if I'll still desire a thing with the same intensity after I get it 89. I already know the answer to that is "yes" 90. I don't think I've even scratched the tip of the iceburg about myself 91. My favorite toy as a child was G.I. JOE 92. I want to be divorce attorney 93. No, I don't see anything wrong with profitting from someone else's misery 94. I'm not a very "moral" person 95. I adhere strictly to my own moral code 96. I think morality is relative 97. I think Relativism as a philosophy is flawed 98. I'm a philosophy and history major 99. I lived my first ten years in California 100. I've been told my Southern accent is sexy 

New Name

I decided to rename my journal.  For some reason the old name depressed me.  It reminded me to much of the past and how much it has sucked.  So now I have a different name and a different mission.  Check it out and enjoy.

Something New and Interesting...Sexs blogs!

As everyone knows, or should know, I like erotica.  Well, it goes to reason that if I like fake stories about sex, then I probably like real stories about sex too.  Well, of course.  So if I want a cheap thrill a pick up an issue of Penthouse Letters, which is a pretty cool magazine with letters from people describing their depraved acts.

I didn't go to work last night, and I was bored out of my mind.  I got to thinking that there are online journals about everything so I signed onto AOL and typed "sex blogs" into a search engine.  I got a hell of a lot of hits, and I checked out a few.  They were pretty interesting, but most of them sucked for a variety of reasons: content, ability to write, voice, etc. 

While I know most of my readers (honestly, do I actually have readers?) are probably not interested, I am.  I found one journal that I really liked, but it has not been updated in a long time.  I wish it were current.  I've already read through the whole thing.  It's called Naughty Little Housewife, and it's about a naughty little housewife.  This woman is amazing.  Definately the type I would like to marry.  Anyway, if anyone is interested, check it out.  If not, don't. 

It's very explicit, and this woman has little to no inhibitionss.  I guess what I find most interesting is that she lives in the south, probably in Alabama.  I'm just guessing about that last though.  She says she appears very straight laced to most people, but inside is just a total slut.  I guess what's most intrigueing is that I could see this woman everyday, think she was just some nice conservative woman, and she could be thinking about giving me a blowjob every time she smiles at me.  I find that funny.  You really never can know what other people are thinking inside.

 

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Calling In

I had to call in to work tonight.  I didn't want to, but I didn't have much choice.  I went swimming with John and Jennifer this afternoon and while swimming I managed to smash my hand into the wall.  I jammed the index finger on my right hand pretty bad.  It hurts like hell, and there is no way I could do my job worth a damn. 

Now, I'm not one to give into pain, but I tried to make a fist and nearly passed out.  It was that bad.  I've never quite felt pain like that before.  It was not fun.  I took one Alieve a little while ago.  It hasn't really helped.  I'm hoping most of the swelling will go down by tomorrow night.  Whether it has or not I have to go into work.  I can't afford not too.

I kind of feel guilty about not going in tonight, but when your head spins like a tornado and you damn near smash your head into your bathroom floor you learn that everyone has limits.  Going to work would only make my injury worse since it involves a lot of heavy lifting. 

This really pisses me off too.  I don't like feeling that I am in a position of weakness.  It's not very comfortable.  Even typing hurts if I don't do it slowly.  This really sucks.

A couple of pictures

I was trying out my new digital camera.  It's not the greatest in the world, but it's good enough for me.  Here are two pictures, one of my new Dell notebook and one of my car.  Hopefully more will be coming soon.  Like some of my wand.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

I saw the movie, and it was as perfect as it could be.  There were funny scenes, and there were sad scenes.  And while the tone was overall sad, it ended well.  It left you feeling that there is hope...A New Hope.  Funny that. 

Good movie overall.  Great fight scenes.  Ewan McGregor's acting was a little off, but for the most part he was good.  All of the other acting was good. 

I know I'm a little biased, so I'm going to like it alot better than some people.  Now, I'm going back to watching Star Trek: Enterprise.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Going to the movies

At 12:01 A.M. Thursday morning I am going to see Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.  I can't wait.  It's been soooo long.  It feels like forever.  And now it's finally here.  I'm very excited.

I also read an article about the George Lucas taking jabs at George W. with the movie.  Well, duh!  Do these people now anything about the man behind the myth?  Have they seen the Star Wars movies?  Have they seen THX-1138?

While Lucas said it was done consciously, he's never been a Republican, and I'm sure he has no love for the current administration.  One conservative movie critic actually said, "Star Wars is a kids movie, it's not supposed to be about someone's liberal ideology."  Hello, it's George Lucas's movie, and he can do what he wants with it.  And let's not forget that this has always been the story.  It's not like it wasn't written three fucking years ago. 

Anyway, I see the similarities.  If anything, the fact that our current government has so much in common with the evil Galactic Empire we've known for years should make us reexamine our government.  Maybe, just maybe, we fucked up along the way

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Good Morning

I just woke up.  Funny, huh?  I literally slept all day.  It was nice though.  I kind of feel bad for wasting the light, because now I can't really do anything away from home.  This stupid state shuts down after ten at night, except for the clubs.  And I'm not 21 yet, so why go to club?

I got my Dell the day after my last entry.  I love it.  It's so nice to have a notebook.  Just to let you know, it's a Dell Inspiron 9300.  Pictures should be coming as soon as I pick up a cheap twenty dollar digital camera.  Hey, did anyone know there is also a cheap twenty dollar digital camcorder.  I'm thinking of getting one of those too.

I'm pissed off that I have to leave my chair right now to turn on the radio.  I should have grabbed the remote.  I could listen online if I didn't have such a shitty connection.  I want DSL!  But I can't get it in my area.  When I lived way the hell out in East Buddha I could get it, now that I live in a city, I can't.  I'm very annoyed by this.

I don't know what I'm going to do tonight.  I'll probably try to finish up a short story I started the other day.  It's set in a fantasy setting, but I'm writing it because I hate one of the guys I work with because he is an asshole who always has to be right and get his way.  And he has the clout to get away with it.  So I'll villify him and be happy with that.

I'll probably do some reading tonight too.  I just started a new book called The Knight.  It's the first installment of a two part novel called The Wizard-Knight.  From everything I hear it's supposed to be really good, but we'll see.  It's got a lot to live up too.  So far my only complaint is that it is first person.  That's not a bad format (I love it in the Vampire Chronicles), but it has it's problems.  So we'll see.

I think I'm also going to cook something nice to eat tonight.  No microwaveable food for me.  I'm thinking fried chicken, mashed potatoes, baked beans, and garlic-cheese bisquits.  Oh, yeah.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Good News

I recieved good news both yesterday and today.  Yesterday I got an email from Dell telling me that my new notebook computer has been shipped.  I should get it in the next week or so.  I can't wait.  I've wanted one for a decade, and now I'm finally going to get it.  It'll really be nice to take it to school next semester and use it to take notes, among other things.  I'm really excited about it.

I also got good news from Stephanie today.  She called to tell me that she had signed up for her classes and that she is taking the same philosophy class as me.  It's with the same teacher we've had for the past two semesters and we both really like her.  Stephanie didn't think she was going to be able to take this class with me because it doesn't end until 3:15 and she is supposed to pick up her siblings from school at 3:00.  She said she decided they could wait thirty minutes.

So I am in a really good mood.  I was feeling a little down since I didn't think me and Stephanie would have another class together, but now that's changed.  It's funny, because I almost can't wait for next semester even though I was dying for the last one to end quickly. 

Anyway, I'm hoping I'll get to hang out with Stephanie some time this summer too.  I don't want to have to wait three months to see her again.  That would royaly suck.  I'm thinking of inviting her to go swimming, if the pool here ever opens.  I heard from someone it doesn't until June, which is stupid because it's hot now.  And besides, I don't want to have to deal with the kids all summer long.  I mean, what the fuck am I paying $600 rent a month for?  I want to swim!

 

Sunday, May 8, 2005

Um...yeah

Thursday through Saturday night are the my busiest nights at work.  I have to work Thursday and Friday night alone, but Saturday my partner is there.  I could not sleep at all Saturday.  I don't know what it was, but I went into working having been up for over twenty-four hours.  I was not in a good mood and my head was killing me.

I had thought about calling in, but I decided not to because that wouldn't be fair to my partner.  I got there and found out that he had called in.  I was, needless to say, pissed.  I told my boss to get me help or I was going home.  So I got help.  It went okay, but it was not a night I want to repeat. 

Saturday afternoon I played poker at John and Jennifer's.  Jeremy and John's mom and step-dad came and played too.  I lost again.  Since we've started playing tournament style I can't win for shit.  I've only did good twice.  I hate loosing, but I still have not lost the drive to play.  Anyway, it's worth five bucks a week.

Lately I've been looking into buying a notebook computer.  My biggest problem has been funding, of course.  The best deal I found was with Dell.  They gave me two grand in credit, so I decided to go for it.  It should arrive in a couple of weeks.  I'm also thinking about getting a digital camera, but I'm not sure about that yet.  I want the Canon Digital Rebel, but it costs more than I make a paycheck and I don't think I have the available credit for it right now.  I'll probably look into something a little cheaper.

Thursday, May 5, 2005

It's Official

My second year at UAB is complete.  I've got the entire summer off.  No school until August.  Now, if the pool would just open up around here, I'd be in business.  I'm going to do my best to enjoy this summer.  I have lots of plans, but I'm not sure what I am going to do yet.

My first plan is to try and swim everyday.  I'd like to loose a little more weight so I can get down to around 170 or 165 by the end of the summer.  I've been slowing getting it off since my senior year in high school.  Good goal, that one.

On May 19, I am going to see Star Wars: Episode III-Revenge of the Sith.  I'm thinking of going to 12:01 A.M. showing since I'll be off work and wide awake.  I can hardly wait.  It's only two weeks away.  I kind of want to go see a movie just to see the theatrical trailer.

I want to try (emphasis on try) to get a couple of stories sent off to see if I can get them published.  Some are written, some are semi-written, and some are still just ideas.  It'd be nice to see my work in print, but I really doubt that will happen in one summer.  I need to get to it though.

I also have a whole lot of books I need to read.  Hopefull I won't just sit on my ass watching tv all summer.  I've done that before.  But I didn't have any plans for the summer then.  This time I do.  And besides, since I have to work, I can't sit around too much.

Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Study date

Today I took my next to last final.  I have one more tomorrow and then I am done with school until the fall.  I think I did okay today.  I believe I'll pass at the very least, which is enough for me.

After the exam I came home and slept for a few hours and then I called Stephanie.  She wanted to come over and study after I woke up.  Before we left the library yesterday we had decided to study at my apartment and I'd promised her dinner.

She came over around seven thirty.  I fried some chicken breasts, marinated Italian style, and I also cooked some fettuccine alfredo.  It came out great.  Stephanie really liked it.  I even caught her stealing some pasta off my plate a couple of times.

We actually only studied for about ten minutes, even though she didn't leave until after nine.  We watch the last half of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and we also talked a lot.

I found out some things about her that I kind of already expected but didn't really know for sure.  I won't go into specifics because that wouldn't be proper, but I did confirm my thought that she seems to be avoiding something in life. 

It's really quite funny because the thing she is avoiding is the very thing I'm trying to find.  It's odd, and we talked about it for a while.  We're good friends and I'm glad we're good friends.  She's trusted me with a lot.

I know life is about taking chances, and as much as I want to take a chance, with her I can't.  I'm afraid of losing the friendship we have.  It's special, it really is.  I just feel good being around her, and that's a nice feeling.  She makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...lol.  And if she can do that just being my friend, isn't it enough? 

I'm afraid of what would happen if we did try to be more than friends.  If she got bored with me, like she has with almost every guy in the past, I don't know how I'd handle it.  I know I could let her go, but I would have to completely let her go.  It would be too painful to go back to being friends.

And I don't want to loose her as a friend.  Like I said, she's speacial, even if she doesn't believe it.  No one ever believes that of themself.  They always try to reject that.  I think it's because they are afraid of that affect they have on people.  They don't want to have the power to make people feel good because they know they could do something to hurt those people. 

But I think you can do more good than harm, as long as you don't let it go to your head.  You have to be a little modest about it, and warry of it, but it's not a bad thing to make people feel good simply by being around them.  That makes sense to me, even if it doesn't to anyone else.

On another note, Stephanie did call her dad to talk to him about that bastard cop.  She didn't get him, but she left a message that she needed to talk to him, although she didn't say what about in the message.  Hopefully he'll call her back some time soon. 

Monday, May 2, 2005

Abuse of Power

In our society some of the most respected individuals are police officers.  The reason for this is that everyday they risk their lives for our well being.  To quote the famous motto, a police officer's duty is to "Protect and Serve."

As a result of their position and responsibilites, they are given quite a bit more power than an ordinary citizen.  They openly carry weapons and are authorized to use for force if necessary to carry out their duties.

However, power is a dangerous thing.  While I will not say that police officer's should not have the power they generally have, I will say that the abuse of that power should be dealt with harshly.  No quarter should be given to a dirty cop.

Tonight, at seven fifteen I was supposed to meet Stephanie in the library at UAB.  I got there right on time.  She was about fifteen minutes late.  I was not really worried because she is not the most punctual person I know. 

When she arrived I could tell something was wrong.  She just seemed on edge.  I asked her if something had her stressed out.  She told me she had been pulled over on the way to the library.  I figured that would do it, but that wasn't all.  She said when the police officer came to her car he said, "I'll let you of if you can get me off."

When I realized what she had said, I felt like spilling blood.  But I got control of myself.  I figured she might be messing with me.  She wasn't.  She was dead serious.  I found myself literally shaking with rage.

She told me that at that point she just drove off.  For some reason she had just put her car in park and had not turned off the ignition.  She said she didn't know what else to do.

I asked her what city he was from and what he looked like.  She told me, but she also told me not to do anything.  Had she not you would find that city and the description of that mother fucker in big bold letters. 

I find myself in a difficult situation.  My instinct is to protect, but Stephanie told me directly not to do anything.  She said she just wanted to forget about it and let it go.  I  refused to let her do that.  I'll be damned first.

She told me she would talk to her dad, which is good.  He has money, and being her father he'll probably want the fucker castrated.  I hope she doesn't just let it go.  She has to tell her dad. 

I'll see her again tomorrow.  She's is going to come over to study for our exam some more.  I hope she'll have talked to her dad by then.  I want to know what he has to say.

I feel helpless.  If I knew the cop's name and exactly what he looked like I'd be after his ass, no doubt about it.  Stephanie said she felt stupid for not finding out his name or doing something, but I told her it was okay.  At least she told me.  She wasn't going to until I asked her what was bothering her.  I'm glad I did.

I walked her to her car after we left the library.  I think she was a little relieved that I did.  I did it for myself as much for her.  Downtown isn't the safests place and I would have walked her anyway, but I felt more protective than usual. 

I had thought about sending in the cop's description and department to UAB's student paper and the Birmingham News, along with a couple of the local news channels.  Stephanie told me not to though.

There is only one other option left open to me until she says otherwise.  I'll use magic.  I'll protect her as best I can, and I'll see if I can cook something up for that fucking bastard to choke on,