Monday, January 10, 2011

A modest proposal.

In light of the recent capture of the man dubbed the Twilight Rapist and the horror perpetrated by him upon his many victims I think it is important that we as a society move forward with Common Sense Penis Control. 

First, I propose that federal legislation be passed by Congress mandating that all men, except those with a valid Penis Use Permit (PUP), be required to use chemical castration.  This is a reversible treatment and only common sense, and the burden is slight compared to the number of rapes it will no doubt prevent.

Whenever a man wishes to use his penis he can apply for a PUP.  The requirements will be simple and common sense, including, but not limited too:  finger printing, criminal background check, completion of a 16 hour Penis Use Safety Course by a certified Penis Use Safety Instructor (at the PUP applicant's expense, of course), and a $300 PUP fee.

The PUP will be valid for one year, after which the applicant must reapply. 

When granted a PUP the permit holder will be required to carry his permit at all times.  If approached by a law enforcement officer he will be required to disclose that he is in possession of a non-chemically castrated penis for which he has a valid permit, and must submit to temporary chemical castration if the officer feels it necessary for his or her safety in the course of the encounter.

Further, in order to ensure that the PUP is not abused by its holder, all those granted a PUP will be required to wear a male chastity belt while outside of their homes.  Since a PUP will only be valid for one partner, this partner will hold the combination to the PUP holder's chastity belt.  The combination should also be available to the PUP holder's chief law enforcement authority and physician.

This is simply a common sense proposal that will not place any undue burden on the penis owning public and will result in a dramatic decrease in penis related crime!  Join me in contacting our Representatives in Congress and demanding these common sense measures for Common Sense Penis Control!

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