Friday, July 23, 2010

Handing an attractive woman a cup of your own piss.

Is it wrong that I get a sick thrill out of that? I'm not talking a sexual one, though. To me it's always been demeaning to have to take a piss test to screen for drugs, and I guess handing some attractive nurse a cup full of piss kind of lets me spread the joy. I know it's no big deal to her. It's her job. But it's also totally unnecessary for her to have to handle my piss. I'm not a patient seeking medical care. Nothing to help fix me will come from this.

Why is this a topic of a blog post? Well, let me tell you about my morning...

At five-thirty this morning I was on my way to work in my company van when I was rear ended by an 18-wheeler. I was on the curved, one lane exit ramp from one interstate to another. I came upon an 18-wheeler pulled off to the left with his signal on indicating he wanted back on the road. I slowed down, but he didn't appear to me moving. Since I was in a curve I couldn't see the actual truck until I got around the trailer. When I did I saw that he had stopped (???!!!) with only the truck pulled into the roadway, blocking it while his trailer remained off the road. That forced me to come to a stop. I was about to pull off to the left to try and go around him and/or avoid getting rear ended when I heard breaks lock up and...

SMASH!

Another 18-wheeler smacked into the left rear of my van. He didn't hit me square as he was trying to swerve around me, but it still did a lot of damage to the van and to his truck.

I called the local PD, notified my supervisor, and called the company that they have 'manage' their accidents. Took lots of fun pictures and did a lot of standing around on the side of the busy interstate. My van had to be towed as did the other guys truck.

Oh, and the guy who'd been blocking the freakin' road?  Yeah, he boogied the hell out of there when he saw he's caused an accident by being a fucking retard and pulling off to the side of the road on the interchange between two busy interstates!

Of course, since it wasn't my vehicle but a company van I had to take a drug test. 'Cause, you know, you only get rear ended if you're under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Anyway, since I had to go the clinic to piss in a cup I figured I'd get my head and neck checked out since they had started to ache about thirty minutes after the accident. The doc did some poking and prodding, looked at my neck X-ray and declared me fit to work.

Only I can't work until I get issued another van. And I can't be issued another van until the drug test results come back. So, four day weekend, and probably without pay (though my boss said he would see what he can do).

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