Saturday, December 19, 2009

And that's why I also carry pepper spray.

Last night I went out to a bar with some friends. I was celebrating my birthday which passed on the 15th. Knowing that I had every intention of becoming completely sauced I left my carry gun in a safe place and carried my Fox Labs pepper spray.

It was a fun night, even if I did spend a good deal of it getting harassed by a woman who could barely speak English. She dragged me onto the dance floor once and bought me a drink (she was ALSO celebrating her birthday). She was a nice woman though, and I wasn't really bothered by it. All in good fun.

As the night wound down I went to the other side of of the bar to say goodnight to the owner, who I know from frequent attendance in the past. I had to wait around for him to calm down and eject this big (twice my weight but a bit shorter), belligerently drunk redneck type who was mad because he'd been cut off and was being sent home.

My friend, the bartender/owner, arranged a ride for this guy and out he went. I said goodnight to my friend and headed to my buddy's truck outside. He was parked on the other side of the road so I walked across and as I did I see Mr. Pissed-off Drunk 'Neck standing at the edge of the road.

Being in pleasantly buzzing good mood as I passed I said, "Have a goodnight."

He immediately turned to me glaring and slurred, "You got sompin' t' say?"

As I continue to walk toward my friends truck, about twenty feet away, I replied, "Just said, 'have a goodnight.'"

He started to follow me mumbling and glaring. I kept my eyes on him as I made my way to my friends truck and I heard him say, "You got sompin' t' say? You tryin' start somin'? Lookin' fer a fight?"

I kept my eyes on him and reached into my pocket for my pepper spray as I rounded the corner of my friends truck bed. The guy kept closing the distance and mumbling about wanting a fight. I said, "Man, I just said 'have a goodnight.' We're all here to have a good time and I don't want any trouble so you need to step off from me."

Not wanting to turn my back on the guy to get in when I reached the passenger side door I turned and faced Mr. Asshole fully as he rounded the truck bed heading toward me. I started yelling at him to stay away from me but he just kept coming looking bigger and meaner with every step. When he was within six feet of me I raised the can of Fox Labs and sprayed him full in the face. He got a good long burst of it and turned immediately around and headed away from me and the truck not saying a word or looking back.

I got in my friend's truck and told him to drive as I dialed 911. When the operator answered I asked to be connected with the local PD. The connection went through quickly and I explained to the man on the phone what had happened and where I was. He got my name and number and said they'd send a unit to the bar.

My friend and I went to a local all night fast food place to meet some other friends. I had caught a little backwash from the pepper spray so I used one of the Sudecon decontamination wipes I had bought with the spray to get a little relief. I had contacts in and those actually gave my eyes a good deal of protection, but my face was burning.

Anyway, after two calls from the local PD I explained that I didn't really feel the need to file a report. They hadn't found the guy, and I was just happy to have gotten safely away. I said basically I called it in to cover my ass and to let them know about the drunk idiot looking for a fight. I was told, "Sorry this happened, have a good night."

And that was that.

After I got I jumped in the shower, washed my face and hands really well and then pulled out my contacts. The pain that instantly hit me was horrible. I never want to get a face full of Fox Labs like that idiot did!

And now I need a can of pepper spray.


nk said...


I live in Illinois and I am not one of the privileged that can carry a gun so what I always have is a quick-opening knife in my right front pocket and a two-foot long oak dowel on the front floor of my car.

And a gun I can ditch quick, sometimes.

Robert said...

I like the pepper spray. I keep a couple of knives on me too, but I didn't need one in this situation.

rickn8or said...

nk-- You have a "hammer handle" on the floor of your car that you keep forgetting to take out.

Robert said...

I work in construction so it makes sense for me to have a car loaded down with heavy tools.

Ave said...

Mr. Pissed Off Drunk 'Neck!!! LMAO! Very nice. You seem to have done everything in its proper order. Way to go.

Robert said...

Thanks! Everyone, including the Fultondale PD, seems to agree.

Weer'd Beard said...

Glad you got away safe. The only sad part is likely Mr. drunk won't really remember what happened, so he may not have learned from the mistake.

Also if they aren't disposable, I'd chuck the contacts just to be safe.

Robert said...

I'd like to think that he learned something from the situation, but you're probably right. I was blessed/ cursed with aperfect memory no matter how much I drink but that doesn't seem to be a common trait.

Scott said...

I've been checking out their products, and I'm curious which product you used (and will reorder): 2, 3, 4 oz? Flip top? Stream or fog? Other?

Robert said...

Scott, I used 2 oz. stream flip-top. Here's a link: DefenseDevices