Saturday, May 27, 2006

Rule Number Three

DON'T MEET INTERESTING NEW PEOPLE WHILE DRUNK

Of course, as I'm sure you're intelligent enough to assume, I already broke this one.  After all, rules were made to be broken.  Just the same, you must at times bite the bullet and admit to the depths of your own stupidity. 

Dun-da-duh!

You don't meet new people while drunk.  There are many reasons for this.  First, and foremost, you can't help but give them the impression that you're a drunk, even if it's been weeks since you had your last drink.  Second, you might spill a couple of drinks in your lap, even if in your entire life you've managed to never do that before.  Third, you might want to give a compliment, like "You have a beautiful smile," (she did) but you don't because the person in question is going to think, "He's drunk, and just wants to get in my pants."  Fourth,  you are going to make an ass of yourself, and say and do things that will only embarrass you if you meet this person again.  There are more, of course.

Basically, if you do this you shoot yourself in the foot (even the "differently challenged" people we know can do this...sorry John, I couldn't resist).  You could meet a person with a hobby that you have an interest in, photography for instance. But it doesn't matter.  You're too fucking drunk to use this obvious conversation piece.  If you find yourself attracted to someone, you can't really do anything about it because, again, they are just going to think you're drunk and trying to get in their pants.  And then, of course, if this person is nice enough to give you're drunk ass a ride to your car you might puke in theirs (I didn't!  But it was a concern of hers.  I wasn't anywhere near that far gone, but I'm sure I appeared that way.).  This would be very, very bad form.

So, in conclusion, I must say again:  DON'T MEET INTERESTING NEW PEOPLE WHILE DRUNK.  You'll only regret it in the morning, because a bad first impression is hard to break. 

Which brings us to our next topic, Rule Number Four: YOU CAN'T MEASURE A PERSON BASED ON THEIR MYSPACE PROFILE...IT'S NOT THE SUM TOTAL OF WHO THEY ARE PEOPLE.....

4 comments:

jhileb said...

my rule is always be yourself.  this way if they like you when your not only putting your best sides of you forward, they will always like you.  whereas if you only show your good sides, as most people do, then when you get comfortable and show your true self....well i think the outcome is fairly obvious.

j.h.

rampage841512 said...

Oh, I don't think it was all that bad anyway.  I'd just kind of like the opportunity to show her my, ah, sober side.  Which means I should probably ask her out sometime.

jhileb said...

absolutely, you should ask her out...the worst she can say is no, and that is no big deal, eh?:)

j.h.

all4eyez said...

I agree with JH , definately be yourself - for real
and ask her out

and I also agree with what you said about rule #4...
How could that even be close to true???