Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I don't like this...

She's clingy.  And she's just not my type.  I'm in this for the fun of it, but the fun is wearing off quickly.  She says she isn't looking for another serious relationship, but everything she is doing implies otherwise.  And I don't want that.

I don't even want to be seeing anyone exclusively right now.  Maybe if it was a different person, that would be different, but that person would probably also be someone I was more into.  This has been fun, and interesting, but I'm just not into it.  I feel like I'm doing it more for her than I am for me, and I don't like that. 

I just going to have to be blunt.  I don't like being mean, but she hasn't really listened to what I've said when I talked to her before.  I don't want to be involved like this.  I don't want to feel like I constantly have to be around her.  I don't want that with anyone.  I need my space.

I mean, I spend a day to myself and then tonight she acts like I shouldn't be tired.  I worked all night, didn't sleep much today, and still managed to do pretty well in the bedroom.  I probably could have done more.  In fact, I know I could have, but I she kept on and on and wouldn't leave me alone so I just couldn't get into it.  That's no fun.  And then there is the plain fact that she is just not that exciting.  Sorry.  But it's true.  Fuck.  I'm through with this. 

I need someone who makes me feel on fire.  She doesn't do it.  I don't even care.  It's more of a "I'm doing cause I got nothing better to do situation" than anything else.  I want to be able to do what I want when I want to, and if I go fucking that up I want it to be for the right reasons.  She isn't that.  She's just using me as a substitute for something she doesn't have, but I can't be that something and I don't want to be.  Enough is enough. 

Why o why can't a fling be just a fling?  Why does it have to turn into something else? 


jhileb said...

i always say, be careful for what you wish may just get it.


rampage841512 said...

Later I sat down with her and had a very frank conversation.  I was basically telling her to go take a hike until she assured me that she was just looking for a little action with a friend.  Then I told her that was okay, but she couldn't be around all the damn time.  I need my time alone.  It's been okay so far.