Thursday, August 11, 2005

Waiting

Waiting is by far the worst thing in the world.  I absolutely hate waiting for anything.  Anything good, anyway.  Hence my current dilemma.  I have nothing to do but wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...

I need more hobbies.  I've about poker'd myself out playing a game I have.  Sunday I'll play in a tournament for money and that will be interesting, but I'm taking some time away from the cards so I don't get burned out any more than I already am. 

I just read over my last entry.  I would like to say in my defense that I was drunk and/or high.  But I wasn't, so I have no excuse except temporary insanity.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

I feel so totally drained right now, and that really sucks.  I'm hoping I'll feel better tomorrow.  I need to work my ass off tonight, come home, and just pass out for eight hours before I do anything else.  I don't even want to think.  Thinking just stresses me out.  I've got to many fucking worries.  And bills, bills, bills.  I fucking hate bills.

I think people call what I'm feeling right now "depression."  The funny thing is that I've felt this often enough to know it will pass once I have something to focus on.  It's been brought on by the fact that I have nothing to do besides sit around and wait.  And I'm tired, so that just adds to the feeling.  And to top it all off I feel complete apathy about this little bought of depression.

When school starts I'll have plenty to keep me busy.  Boredom and waiting won't lead to apathy that will just drag me down.  Time to snooze.

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