Wednesday, June 1, 2005

Unexpected Adventure...and unexpected self pitying rant

So, yeah, all that stuff I planned to do?  I fell asleep instead.  Damn.  It sucks to work nights in this state.  WalMart is the only thing open after ten at night except for clubs, and I don't do clubs.  It's such a pain.  I mean, come on, at least the mall should be open to midnight, right?  Wrong.

Anyway, around six in the afternoon John called me and asked me if I wanted to go see a movie.  I really was not sure if I wanted too, so I asked what movie we would be seeing.  He said it would be The Longest Yard.  I've kinda/sorta been wanting to see this movie so I said I'd come along.  It's not like I had anything better to do.

I'm really glad I did too.  The movie was hilarious.  It stars Adam Sandler, so if your not a fan, don't bother.  It's in the ballpark of Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, and The Waterboy but not nearly as far gone and ridiculus as Little Nicky.  I enjoyed it.

It rained all day today, so I think that is one reason I slept all day.  The rain just makes me want to snooze.  I need to do something besides that though before I have to go back to work.  I do get paid this week though, so that's good. 

Anyway, back to the movie.  It was funny, like a said.  Basic rundown:  has been football player goes to federal prison, sadistic warden and gaurds force him to put a football team together for the guards to trash, inmate team (obvious underdogs) come together to give the guards a taste of their own medicine.  Good movie for a week night adventure.

The only thing that sucked about tonight was that I had to drive.  But it was either that or get stuck in the back seat of a Honda Civic, and I've already vowed "Never Again."  So I drove.  Why John couldn't drive his Accord I don't understand.  Something about no air conditioner (it was in the high sixties!).

Anyway, it got me out of my apartment for a few hours when I was expecting to spend the night alone, so I'm not complaining too much.  I'm just wishing I had someone to spend my free time with...someone, shall we say, special to me.  I knew I should have called Stephanie this afternoon. 

I really don't know what I'm doing to myself with that girl.  I'm nuts about her, there's no denying it.  I just can't figure out why????????????  Idon't know what it is about her.  Everything just kind of comes together.  How many times have I told myself that in the past about some girl, though?  I don't know.  To top it off I read this in some girls journal the other day: 

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

This pisses me off.  Sorry ladies, but this isn't the guy you really want.  At least that's not how you act.  Every time this guy comes around (and I'm not speaking just from my own experience) you tell the poor prick you "just want to be friends."  Maybe what everyone tells me is true and the above is the guy who gets the girl in the end, but it hasn't happened to me yet. 

Yeah, I'm probably a sappy ass romantic, but I can't help it.  I try to be a gentleman, and I usually do a good job.  And later, when we're "buddies", and you ask me why I'm such a cynic?  Just remember that time I asked you out and you said, "Ah, but we're friends, we can't go out."

I don't understand.  I really don't.  Maybe I'm just being silly to some people, but this is important to me.  I'm lonely.  You hear that?  Lonely.  I just want to find someone who I can be 'that guy' for (see above). 

8 comments:

deniden said...

I've always found that it's too hard to date someone you are friends with. I was really close with a guy (like best friends close, hanging out together every day) for a summer (we had been friends prior but never got that close) and by the end of the summer, he told me he wanted to date me. It didn't happen, because like you said, we were "just friends." You are better off not to trying to establish that "friend" relationship with a girl you want to date, it never turns out in your favor. Most of the guys I've dated were guys I met through a friend, not the friend themself.

Just my 2 cents.

Denielle
http://journals.aol.com/deniden/thisisme

rampage841512 said...

I appreciate the advice.  I don't know what I'm going to do, but it will probably be the wrong thing.  See how confident I am?  I think I just need to do more.  More of what, I don't know.

autumnsavril said...

Damn, I was in the archives section of your journal and forgot to check for June entries.  Two to go, then off to visit J's journal.

Ave, who better get to reading.

autumnsavril said...

From "some chick's journal" and all over MySpace:  "Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

This is bullsnot.  Not every chick is looking for this, at least not all the time.  Wouldn't that get boring and obnoxious???  Clint kisses my forehead sometimes, and I always tell him to stop.  It makes me feel like his daughter or something, and that is NOT a good feeling to have with someone you're intimate with.  Right?

Wait for the guy who can show you passion and compassion.  Wait for the guy who is unique, but not obnoxiously so.  DO wait for the guy who loves to show you off to all his friends . . . but on your terms (which means if you want to wear makeup when you're introduced, do it).  Wait for the guy who isn't afraid to have fights with you.  If you can't keep a relationship strong after a good fight, you won't make it anyway, because believe me, there WILL be fights.

And if this guy comes along but doesn't spark your interest, move on.

Avril

autumnsavril said...

I've dated guys that were "just friends" before.  Just because you're friends beforehand doesn't mean you can't still be friends later.  I've proven that.  My friend Aaron was also my friend before he was my boyfriend.  We still keep in touch to this day.  Matter of fact, I talked to him just last week, and we dated more than five years ago, and were friends over a year before that.

Nothing in a relationship is set in stone.  There ARE no relationship rules.  And there are hardly any guidelines.  Everyone is unique, and therefore everyone is looking for a different person.  If someone says they do not want to be your significant because you are already good friends, what they're saying is that you are a wonderful person and they love you to death, but not "like that."  It's a polite, tactful way of saying just that.  It's never meant to be hurtful, and it may seem like a worn-out line (and it still sucks to be on the receiving end of it), but the message is always received when it's said, and that's why it's still in popular circulation.  Don't take it the wrong way if it happens--take it as a compliment.  They may not like you "like that," but they still love you as a person.

(This was in reply to Danielle's message.)

Avril

autumnsavril said...

Also wanted to add that if you do take it the wrong way, you're liable to hurt the other's feelings.  I had a friend once whom I turned down.  I didn't say, "we are already friends, I don't want to ruin it," but rather said, "I'm sorry, I just don't see you as a boyfriend, I see you as my friend."  He said that was fine and asked if we could not talk about it.  I can understand that, so I said that was fine.  After that he stopped being my friend.  I tried to say hello in the hallways at school--to no avail.  It hurt my feelings a lot, because that sent the message to me that if I wouldn't be his girlfriend, he didn't want to be my friend--which meant he didn't really like me as a person.  Looking back, I think it just may have been deep embarrassment on his part, but I really did love him as a friend, and losing that hurt my feelings, no matter the reason.

IME, things may be difficult or a little strenuous soon after a friend is turned down, but that will (or can) pass, so don't give up that friendship.

Ave, who's reminiscing on experiences way too much now.

rampage841512 said...

I'm on the border line of: A). spilling it and telling Stephanie exactly what I'm going through and B).  Doing absolutely nothing, keeping my mouth shut and hopeing for her to make a move....I like A better even though it scares the shit out of me.  

rampage841512 said...

I hear ya.  I've asked a long time friend out and been turned down.  It hurt like hell, but I got over it and we're still good friends.  I've also got the "let's just be friends" line from someone who I had only met with the intention of dating.  And that just went to shit.