Wednesday, June 1, 2005

I've Had Better Days

Today started out pretty sucky.  I wanted to go to sleep this morning and sleep until about noon.  My plan was then to go to the mall and browse a couple of book stores.  I figured I'd come home and sleep a few more hours and then get up to do whatever. 

Well, none of that happened.  I tried going to sleep on my couch around seven in the morning.  I was really tired, but it was not working out.  I decided to try a shower and my comfortable bed.  The shower was nice, and so was the bed.  But still, sleep eluded me.  Finally I got up and decided to go get breakfast and then head to the mall early.

I was already feeling depressed (I hate that word), because of this and that.  Mostly I was feeling lonely.  It got worse as I went about my day.  I just felt more and more alone no matter how many people were around.  It was a very disquieting experience.  I didn't like it at all.  Who the hell would?

Anyway, I finally made my way home.  I got comfortable, turned the air conditioner on, and went to sleep on the couch.  I slept for about an hour when I got a call from Jennifer.  She wanted to know if I wanted to order a pizza and watch The Empire Strikes Back.  She's been on this kick to watch the original trilogy since we saw Revenge of the Sith.  I'm not complaining.

I said sure.  She said John was going to pick her up after work and they would head over here.  I decided to go back to sleep since John wouldn't get off work for at least an hour and a half.  I went right out again and woke up a couple of hours later to the sound of knocking on my door.

I let John and Jennifer in and we just sat around for a few minutes before Jennifer ordered the pizza.  We waited for it to get here and then started the movie.  I really enjoyed it, though I found my head nodding toward the end. 

I guess getting some sleep and spending some time with my two best friends helped my mood.  I'm feeling a lot better.  I hate it when I get into those really deep depressions.  It has not happened in a long time.  Not since I was living at home.  I hope it doesn't happen again anytime soon...or at all. 


autumnsavril said...

I absolutely HATE that feeling.  And don't think a relationship will stop it from happening, either.  Sometimes I get really, really lonely for no reason at all.  I can be in a group full of people and still feel lonely and like an outcast.  I don't know why it happens, but I hate it to death.


rampage841512 said...

I know what you mean.  It's happened to me in groups of friends too, even in the middle of a really fun party.  It makes me wish I had someone to run to for comforting..a lover, a mother, hell, even a really good friend who could just give me a hug and tell me everything will be okay.