Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Pain. Lots of pain.

Work really sucks right now.  I'm completely exhausted and frustrated.  I can handle overtime in a five day week, but I need my two days off or I start to lose my sanity.  Part of it is that I've got to be a completely different person than who I really am for most of the day when I'm dealing with customers.  I can't let my frustration, aggravation, annoyance, or any other negative emotion show.  I've got to keep it bottled up.  At least one of my supervisors thinks that's no excuse for being angry when I'm thrust into a no win situation created by someone else.

I'm sure I'll be hearing about it tomorrow after I get, if I'm lucky, six hours of sleep.  I've just got to remind myself that management has thinner skin than prickly customers, that speaking loudly is now yelling, that being angry is a sign of disrespect, and that balking when someone tells me to do something that will make a bad situation worse means that I'm treating them like they're a piece of shit.

Honestly, I'm just confused.    


Kristin said...

Yeah, we talked about this yesterday. Is it getting worse, is it more of the same, or is this just still on your mind?

agirlandhergun said...


Old NFO said...

Time to get a new job...

RobertM said...

Kris-There was a formal 'discussion' about the 'incident' this morning. Last night I was just trying to work it all out in my head. Today I've come to the conclusion that the best policy is going to be to keep everyone at work at arms length and treat them with impersonal formality.

AGirl-Thanks for the thought.

NFO-I think I'll be sticking it out for a while yet. A lot of it I may have just brought upon myself. My problem seems to be that while I do good work and am a "low maintainence" employee I have a short temper where management is considered and a serious problem with authority. One of my faults, according to management, is (I shit you not) "you speak with authority." The whole situation is just confusing and annoying. Whatever. The money is good. I'll do it as long as I can stand to and in the meantime I'll keep my eye out for other options.

Kristin said...

You speak with authority . . . and this is a problem? Are you serious?

RobertM said...

100% serious. Given, I did lose my temper. I don't think I said everything that I was quoted as saying, but I'll give the benefit of the doubt. When someone is being dense, continually trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, and cuts me off mid-word at least once when I'm already frustrated because I'm dealing with a really screwed up situation and it took five calls to get through to the person who pride's himself on 'being there to help" and then does not, in fact, help when the time comes I tend to lose my temper. A bit. What he experienced was not a true loss of temper but that's how it was interpreted by someone who frankly doesn't know shit about me.

My anger stemmed from the fact that the authority I am supposed to be respectful too just because wasn't actually able or willing to do anything authoritative. He didn't want to make a decision that might make him look bad from a raw numbers standpoint.

To give the complete benefit of the doubt to the other side I was angry, and I did let that show. It was on what was supposed to be a private phone call between two people and it should have never escalated beyond that level in my opinion, but he felt his authority was threatened and had to respond.

I'll do my best to give the appearance of the chastened little boy, try to limit my interactions with management even more, and probably not be able to regain what little respect I had for the people I work with.

Personally, i think some interpersonal conflict is going to arise in highly stressful work situations, which this was. It didn't reach the level of personal attacks or insults and was merely, in my mind, a heated disagreement about how to handle a no win situation.

In the end it came down to, "Yes, you were right. It doesn't matter because by pointing that out so forcefully (after being ignored) you threatened my authority. Here is a formal reprimand, bet you respect me now, huh?"

Oh, you betcha.

I think there was plenty of blame to go around, but because my job title doesn't include 'manager' I'm the asshole with no respect for authority.

I accept that. I'll get over in. But I won't forget it.