Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Interesting conversation.

I had a conversation with a friend tonight that was sparked by our completely different, positive reactions to something I linked on Facebook.  Basically, the conversation was a bit one sided my way as it pretty much necessitated an explanation of my world view, ethics, and a bit of my knowledge of the Bill of Rights.  I talked, and she listened, asking questions and posing scenarios.  Not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing, but listening.

It's a privilege to have someone actually listen to what I have to say, not just to humor me or because they like the sound of my voice, but because they are genuinely interested in my thoughts and opinions.  There was no pressure to convince, just a desire to understand another person's thought process.

It's nice to be able to talk to someone who can disagree with you without making you feel attacked.  So many times conversation devolve to debates or arguments.  Both debates and arguments have their place, but sometimes you just want a pleasant conversation.  

I enjoy talking about the things I'm passionate about without feeling like I have to convince the other person I'm right, or win a debate.  It's so relaxing, and so rare for me to have conversations like that.  I'm very much the debater and arguer (not in the negative fashion, but in the 'be right and prove it' fashion).  Fact is, it can make me a very unpleasant person to be around. 

Tonight I wasn't like that, though.  I'm never like that when I have a conversation with this person.  Respect is a big part of that, I'm sure, maybe the biggest part.  Another major part of it is not feeling threatened.  Not feeling threatened means I don't get defensive, and that means in turn I never feel the need to go on the attack.

How the hell does she completely disarm me and slip inside my defenses?  I can answer that, actually.  She convinces me to let her right in.  And when I do she doesn't do me any harm.  It's a hell of a tactic, beautiful to see.  She'd make one hell of a Secretary of State.  She does make one hell of a good friend.

Trust is something not easily earned from me. 

3 comments:

Kristin said...

This made me smiley all over. I got a whole blog post? Sa-weet!

The only thing that makes me rare is tolerance. We have so little of it in our culture these days that it really shocks me.

I think you would really like my friend Samantha. She is pretty much the same way, and we have some of the best conversations. You probably see me loving on her a lot, and that's for good reason; some friends you spend extra time on because you don't want to lose them.

RobertM said...

It is such a rare thing to talk to someone who is genuinely interested and capable of understanding and engaging.

RobertM said...

From her comments on your Facebook posts, I think I would like Samantha as well.