Tuesday, January 6, 2009

40 Reasons to Ban Guns

This pops up from time to time on the Gun Forums I visit, and I find it amusing so I'm reposting it here.

1. Banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, & Chicago cops need guns.

2. Washington DC's low murder rate of 69 per 100,000 is due to strict guncontrol, and Indianapolis' high murder rate of 9 per 100,000 is due to thelack of gun control.

3. Statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control but statisticsshowing increasing murder rates after gun control are "just statistics."

4. The Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban, both of which went intoeffect in 1994 are responsible for the decrease in violent crime rates,which have been declining since 1991.

5. We must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shootingspree at any time and anyone who would own a gun out of fear of such alunatic is paranoid.

6. The more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.

7. An intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shotwith a .357 Magnum will get angry and kill you.

8. A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smokinggun and a dead rapist at her feet.

9. When confronted by violent criminals, you should "put up no defense -give them what they want, or run" (Handgun Control Inc. Chairman PeteShields, Guns Don't Die - People Do, 1981, p. 125).

10. The New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice aboutguns; just like Guns & Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.

11. One should consult an automotive engineer for safer seat belts, a civilengineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for internal medicine, a computerprogrammer for hard drive problems, and Sarah Brady for firearms expertise.

12. The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1787, refers to the National Guard, whichwas created 130 years later, in 1917.

13. The National Guard, federally funded, with bases on federal land, usingfederally-owned weapons, vehicles, buildings and uniforms, punishingtrespassers under federal law, is a "state" militia.

14. These phrases: "right of the people peaceably to assemble," "right ofthe people to be secure in their homes," "enumerations herein of certainrights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people,"and "The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the statesrespectively, and to the people" all refer to individuals, but "the right ofthe people to keep and bear arms" refers to the state.

15. "The Constitution is strong and will never change." But we should banand seize all guns thereby violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th Amendments tothat Constitution.

16. Rifles and handguns aren't necessary to national defense! Of course, thearmy has hundreds of thousands of them.

17. Private citizens shouldn't have handguns, because they aren't "militaryweapons'', but private citizens shouldn't have "assault rifles'', becausethey are military weapons.

18. In spite of waiting periods, background checks, fingerprinting,government forms, etc., guns today are too readily available, which isresponsible for recent school shootings. In the 1940's, 1950's and 1960's,anyone could buy guns at hardware stores, army surplus stores, gas stations,variety stores, Sears mail order, no waiting, no background check, nofingerprints, no government forms and there were no school shootings.

19. The NRA's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign about kids handlingguns is propaganda, but the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch"campaign is responsible social activity.

20. Guns are so complex that special training is necessary to use themproperly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.

21. A handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typicaladult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.

22. Women are just as intelligent and capable as men but a woman with a gunis "an accident waiting to happen" and gun makers' advertisements aimed atwomen are "preying on their fears."

23. Ordinary people in the presence of guns turn into slaughtering butchersbut revert to normal when the weapon is removed.

24. Guns cause violence, which is why there are so many mass killings at gunshows.

25. A majority of the population supports gun control, just like a majorityof the population supported owning slaves.

26. Any self-loading small arm can legitimately be considered to be a"weapon of mass destruction" or an "assault weapon."

27. Most people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, whichmost people will abide by because they can be trusted.

28. The right of Internet pornographers to exist cannot be questionedbecause it is constitutionally protected by the Bill of Rights, but the useof handguns for self defense is not really protected by the Bill of Rights.

29. Free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, andtypewriters, but self- defense only justifies bare hands.

30. The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts ofthe Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of theConstitution.

31. Charlton Heston, a movie actor as president of the NRA is a cheaplunatic who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas, a movie actor as arepresentative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who isentitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.

32. Police operate with backup within groups, which is why they need largercapacity pistol magazines than do "civilians" who must face criminals aloneand therefore need less ammunition.

33. We should ban "Saturday Night Specials" and other inexpensive gunsbecause it's not fair that poor people have access to guns too.

34. Police officers have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns thatprivate citizens can never hope to obtain.

35. Private citizens don't need a gun for self- protection because thepolice are there to protect them even though the Supreme Court says thepolice are not responsible for their protection.

36. Citizens don't need to carry a gun for personal protection but policechiefs, who are desk-bound administrators who work in a building filled withcops, need a gun.

37. "Assault weapons" have no purpose other than to kill large numbers ofpeople. The police need assault weapons. You do not.

38. When Microsoft pressures its distributors to give Microsoft preferentialpromotion, that's bad; but when the Federal government pressures cities tobuy guns only from Smith & Wesson, that's good.

39. Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability to use a gun fordefensive purposes, which is why you see police officers with one on their duty weapon.

40. Handgun Control, Inc., says they want to "keep guns out of the wronghands." Guess what? You have the wrong hands.

1 comment:

Ave said...

This was great fun to read. =D

I didn't catch details on some of the points (I'm not familiar with all the laws, people, and organizations involved in gun control), but I at least got the general jist of all of them. Verrrra nice.