Sunday, September 17, 2006

I Need to Explain This

I need to explain something to someone, but since she isn't talking to me at the moment I'll explain it to my journal. 

I don't mean to be a jerk.  I'm not being some petulant man-child who's angry because he can't get in your pants.  I'd like to, but that's besides the point.  I like you.  I don't know why.  'Why' doesn't matter. 

I know I'm never going to get you, and that doesn't matter either.  You're not the first and I'm sure you won't be the last.  I'm just glad I'm not kidding myself about you.  I did that in the past, and it was bad.  I'm honest when it comes to you.  I know there is nothing there.

I proved last night that I'm not the type of guy who's an asshole because he doesn't get what he wants.  I proved it to someone else, and not you, but that doesn't matter.  I proved it to myself. 

I'm to tired for this shit.  I don't understand you or anyone else.  I just want what I've always wanted and I don't know where to look for it.  I don't want it from you.  I don't know that I want it from anyone.  I just want it.

This doesn't make any sense.  Nothing does in life. 

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