Monday, May 22, 2006

Some things I wanted to mention, and something I really needed to talk about...

I've really been meaning to go see The DaVinci Code since Friday, but that has not happened so far.  And I've got to work tonight.  And I'll probably work Tuesday night so I can get some over time, but I don't know yet.  I'm feeling worn out, so maybe not.  I could use two days off.

I found out yesterday that my youngest brother, Ryan, is coming from California to visit June 1st.  That will be nice.  I have not seen him in about five years.  It sucks that he lives so far away.  Because of that, and other things, I've never really developed any kind of a relationship with him.  I only wish I had known he was coming sooner, because then I could have taken my vacation while he was here.  But it will be okay.  I'll make the time.

I had a really weird dream yesterday.  It was like one I'd had a long time ago that I wrote about here.  Anyway, in the dream someone I've known for a long time, though she was a bit different in the dream, and I realized we were in love with each other.  It was crazy, because the dream kind of skimmed over about a weeks time.  Anyway, we ended up very seriously together and planning marriage and all that.  It was crazy.  At the end of the dream she went to work and I got this weird feeling that she wasn't coming back and that this wonderful thing I'd finally found was going to end.  And then I woke up and it did.  That really sucked.  I was a little down about it all day yesterday. 

The weirdest part is remembering being madly in love with this person, in the dream anyway.  Waking up it's like someone I was close to years and years ago.  The memory is there, but the actual emotion is kind of gone.  Just lots of weirdness.  I guess the dream sort of bothered me.  I'd have rather not had it.  I finally had everything I wanted, and then I woke up.  That definitely doesn't make me feel that great. 

And I know.  A dream is just a dream and I shouldn't let it bother me.  This one really did though.  The funny thing is that the person in the dream is someone I don't particularly like.  Sure, she's attractive, but I could never see myself with her seriously.  Even if she weren't already taken.  It was weird how none of that mattered when the right feeling was there, though. 

I wish I hadn't dreamed this.  It's one of those which I wish I hadn't woken up from.  I was worried in the end of the dream because I could tell my body was waking up, even if I didn't understand or realize exactly why I was having that bad feeling in the dream.  The good parts of it were great though, and I wish that hadn't ended.  It was nice to feel that, to feel loved and wanted.  Even if it was just a dream. 


autumnsavril said...

Yeah, a dream is just a dream . . . but I know EXACTLY what you mean.  Don't say it, I know you're wondering if anyone CAN know exactly what you mean, but I swear I do.

I was having a recurring theme in my dreams for weeks, and I felt GREAT emotion while having the dreams each time, only when I woke up, the emotion was gone.  For me, it was a relief, as the emotion was negative--it was like knowing something bad had happened, then finding out it never happened at all.  "Waking from a bad dream."  Literally.

Anyway, I had the memory of the emotion, still do, but I don't feel it anymore.  Thank the stars.  Odd that yours is the same, yet opposite.  Same situation, opposite emotion.  Very strange, that.


autumnsavril said...

Oh yeah, while I was choosing to save my last comment, I remembered that I forgot to mention that I saw The DaVinci Code tonight with my friend and Clint.

It was okay, but not really what I was hoping.  Suffice it to say that the book is MUCH better, and I'd rather reread that than see the movie again.  Plus the screenwriter completely rewrote the ending.  I saw the irony in the new ending, but I'll tell you about it after you've seen the movie.  :)