Tuesday, April 11, 2006

You DON'T Have Mail

No mail.  Why is that so depressing?  My cell phone is cut off because I don't have the available cash to pay the bill because I fucked up and went in the negative on my checking account.  Apparently I made a little mistake and put a 5 instead of a 4 in my transaction book.  The lady at the bank said I keep excellent records, which is great, but that the little mistake screwed me over.  They cut my fees in half but it was still a bitch.  Anyway, I still managed to have fifty bucks after all is said and done, but still, it sucks.

I'm going to get the rest of my loan in the next day or two.  I really, really need it now.  I've got to get this shit taken care of.  The guy at the bank says I'm making the right move by consolitdating, but he wishes that for my sake I could make larger payments and pay it off quicker.  Too bad life doesn't work that way, huh?

I want to talk to my friend Jennifer.  We both go to UAB.  Have I talked about her?  We were in that creative writing class I took way back when me and Stephanie were first getting to know each other.  And now that me and Jennifer are getting to know each other better we're both kicking ourselves for not getting together back then.  Fucking figures, doesn't it? 

The problem?  The usual.  She has a boyfriend...a serious one.  But there is definitely a mutual attraction, desire, etc.  She hot.  She is so very hot.  Like SuicideGirl hot.  She's beautiful, gorgeous, and unavailable.  Okay, now what?

It's the same fucking story every time I actually discover, or in the case rediscover, someone I'm really interested in on more than one level.  It's fucked up.  Bad enough this whole Stephanie thing is still kicking me in the nuts on occasion, but now this?

Fuck it.  Like I said, what's new?

Well, for one thing I think I settled on a tattoo...again.  I still like the idea of my name in Elvish, but this one is cool too.  It's a prayer from the movie The Boondock Saints.  I'm thinking it would look good in Gothic lettering on my upper arm coming down from the shoulder.  You're probably wondering what it is, so here you go:

"And shepherds we shall be.

For Thee, my Lord, for Thee.

Power hath descended forth

from Thy hand, that our feet

may swiftly carry out Thy

command.  So we shall flow a

river forth to Thee, and teeming

with souls it shall ever be.

In Nomine Patris, et Fili,

et Spiritus Sancti."

I like, always have.  I'm no Christian, but if I was I would definitely be a Roman Catholic.  It just fits with my personality.  I like the trappings of it, the mysticism, and the ceremony.  Anyway, if you pay attention to the words of the prayer it is a vigilante's prayer.  That's not exactly a Christian sentiment, considering 'render unto Caesar what is Caesar's' and all that.

I love that movie.  I love that prayer, and as soon as I get the money I'm getting one of the crucifixes they wear.  I don't want to hear any shit about alter boys either.  My grandmother was a Catholic, if not a very good one.  I have respect for the religion as I have respect for all religions, even those I hate.  And yes, you can respect something you hate.  It's something you despise you cannot respect.  And besides, the cross is a symbol far older than Christianity.  I'll put a charm on it or something.

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