Tuesday, February 7, 2006


I don't know.  I'm feeling weird right now.  I may have gotten involved in something I should have avoided.  I'm not in an emotional state where I can offer someone anything in that department.  I'm not sure if I'm being asked for that. 

I don't know what I want.  Or, I do, but it's something I can't have.  So do I want anything?  I don't know what I'm doing.  I'm probably going to regret it.  I just get that feeling of inevitability. 

I'm twenty-one.  I can't get involved long term unless there is something in it for me long term.  I don't think there is.  It's something to talk about.  Something that has to be made clear.  I just hope I'm not too late.

I haven't made any promises, so I can't break them.  I'm not going anywhere right now, but eventually I will.  I don't know where or when, but I'm not ready to stay.  Not with these cards.  They're not good enough.   That may seem cold, but it's also true. 

Fuck.  Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.  Maybe not. 

This isn't what I'm looking for.  Not in the long term.

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