Saturday, November 12, 2005

I am so confused right now

I am so confused right now.  I don't really know what is what anymore.  I have had to look at a situation and know what the right thing to do is, and yet know that I would do the wrong thing.  I think.

But then I remember something.  And it all becomes clear.  Suddenly I'm not so confused anymore.  No, I wouldn't do that wrong thing, not if I took the time to really think about it. 

I wouldn't act.  Oh, I'd desire too, but I wouldn't act.  I would become that which I hate if I did. 

I don't really know what this says of me.  It seems like it makes me both compassionate and  unforgiving at the same time.

I can't forgive someone who hurt me, and yet I can understand the motivation behind that.  I can almost see myself doing the same thing.  Almost.  So close.  So very, very close. 

It would appear that the darkside of the human soul is very seductive indeed.  


Or maybe this is just all craziness from some asshole at two in the morning.  Could be.  But I am what I am.  Whatever that may be. 

I'll judge when an issue effects me personally.  When it doesn't, I'll avoid making any judgement because that is the easiest thing to do.  It may not necessarily be the right thing to do, but I can only handle be so cold, so hard and unrelenting.  Sometimes you have to show a little compassion. 

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