Wednesday, October 19, 2005

I just spent two hours writing a letter.

I just spent two hours writing a letter.  Yeah, I decided to take the cowards way out.  But there were a lot of reasons.  I don't know if I could say everything I needed to say if I was speaking.  I don't want to see her get mad at me.  I don't want to see her look at me with pity. 

I'm going to try and give it to her today.  If not today, then tomorrow.  I thought about posting what I'd written up here, but I'm not going to do that.  This is one of those things that needs to remain private. 

I'm still afraid, but I'm resigned to the fact that I am who I am.  And I'm never going to change.  I do the things I do because of who I am.  I react to things the way I do because of who I am.  I can't be anyone but who I am.  I've been trying, and I failed.

2 comments:

autumnsavril said...

Understandable about the whole privacy thing.  I would probably keep it private too.  On the other hand, I'll bet everything in that letter has been written in this journal at some point or another.  ;)

Avril

rampage841512 said...

You're write, to an extent.  There is a lot more I could have written, but I would have been at it for a week.  No need to drop all that on her.  When/if she reads it I'll just do my best to explain what I can.