Tuesday, September 20, 2005

So close, yet so far away

I just finished playing in one of the college poker championship Kickass freerolls.  The top ten players divide $1000 among themselves.  It was fun, and I did better than I have in any of the other tournaments.  I finished 26 of 750.  That's pretty damned good if you ask me.  Now if I could only remember to play on Sundays.

Class was okay today.  Yesterday I had an exam in my US to1877 class.  I think I did okay, but I'm not sure.  Anyway, today was okay.  I have a test tomorrow and another Thursday, I believe.  And I also have one next Tuesday.  It's going to be interesting.

I saw Stephanie today, of course.  It was kind of odd.  When I got there she was already in class and she asked me how I was.  I hesitated, and then I said I was okay.  I lied.  I'm not okay.  To be honest it bothered me all through the class.  Since class ended early I walked her to her car.  On the way I told her I needed to apologize for something.  I told her I'd lied, that I wasn't okay.  I told her that the truth was that I was really fucked up, but that I hid it well. 

She said she'd be there for me if I needed her.  She told me to call her if I needed to talk, and she told me she was serious.  I told her I would if I needed too.  I said I thought I should tell her because while I control myself pretty well, I knew I may very well crack and I didn't think she deserved to get a nasty surprise. 

She's a good friend.  She's a very good friend.  I just wish she was more. 

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